“The Psblurtex is an 18-inch long anaconda that hides in the gentlemen's outfitting departments of Amazonian stores and is often bought by mistake since its colors are those of the London Reform Club. Once tied around its victim's neck, it strangles him gently and then claims the insurance before running off to Germany where it lives in hiding.” LongRunningMistakeColorHumorousClaimsVictimClubsLondonStoresReformGentlemanGermanyDepartmentNecksHidingInchesTied Author:Mike Harding
“The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.” PersonsCountryProblemRunningFormEnergyAnimalMiddleHumorousScientistBillsCancerOilEnormousDepartmentSandEtcCowsRatsEasternLaboratoryDinosaursRaccoonsBulldozers Author:Dave Barry
“Despite the Internet 's origin in the late 1960s as a government sponsored means of communication between the Department of Defense, private industry, and academia, it has been at its best and generated the greatest economic, social, and technological benefits since it was 'liberated' by the hordes of 'geeks' who were originally hired to run it by employers who were not themselves conversant with computers, and couldn't tell when their employees were exchanging official traffic or trading dirty jokes and recipes for marijuana brownies.” MeanHas BeensGovernmentRunningSocialEconomicCommunicationIndustryInternetBenefitsComputerLateJokesDefenseDespiteDirtyOfficialsDepartmentEmployeeMarijuanaTrafficTechnologicalRecipesTradingGeekEmployers1960sLiberatedAcademiaHordeExchangingBrowniesMeans Of CommunicationDirty Jokes Author:L. Neil Smith
“Every name in a TV show has to be run by the legal department first.” FirstsShowsRunningNamesTvsDepartmentTv Shows Author:Gina Bellman
“When a man tells me he's run out of steam in the sex department, I'll tell him, 'Count your blessings; you've escaped from the clutches of a cruel tyrant. Enjoy!” MenRunningSexEnjoyBlessingDepartmentTyrantsSteamClutchCount Your BlessingsBlessing You Author:Richard J. Needham