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Thanksgiving Funny Quotes

Browse 63 quotes about Thanksgiving Funny.

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Thanksgiving Funny Quotes

“It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.”

WatchesFoodCookingDramaticGrandmotherCulinaryExpensesHonoredMy GrandmotherTurkeysHiringGourmetFunny ThanksgivingThanksgiving FunnyFunny Happy ThanksgivingGood ThanksgivingFunny Thanksgiving DayThanksgiving TurkeyTurkeys On ThanksgivingThanksgiving Jokes
Author:Russell Baker
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“Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.”

YearsThanksgivingThankfulnessThanksgiving DayThanksgiving ThanksInspirational ThanksgivingThankful ThanksgivingThanksgiving ThankfulHappy ThanksgivingFunny ThanksgivingThanksgiving InspirationalThanksgiving FunnyThanksgiving Thank YouThanksgiving GreetingsFunny Happy ThanksgivingFamily ThanksgivingThanksgiving And FamilyThanksgiving FamilyFunny Thanksgiving DayFriends ThanksgivingThanksgiving ThoughtsHappy Thanksgiving PoemsDay After ThanksgivingThankful For Family
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the 'history' I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.”

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Author:Ellen Orleans
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“We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown.”

YearsHas BeensHeavenNationsPeaceWealthNumbersProsperityBe GratefulThanksgivingBountyThanksgiving DayThanksgiving ThanksThanksgiving HolidayInspirational ThanksgivingThanksgiving InspirationalThanksgiving FunnyLove ThanksgivingChristian ThanksgivingThanksgiving ChristianThanksgiving ThoughtsNational Day Of Prayer
Book:The collected works of Abraham Lincoln
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“You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.”

IfsKnowsFirstsWiseDinnerNativeNative AmericanThanksgivingAmerican WomanThanksgiving DayThanksgiving ThanksThanksgiving HolidayHappy ThanksgivingFunny ThanksgivingThanksgiving FunnyThanksgiving Thank YouThanksgiving GreetingsThanksgiving DinnerFunny Happy ThanksgivingFamily ThanksgivingThanksgiving WishesThanksgiving And FamilyThanksgiving FamilyChristian ThanksgivingHappy Thanksgiving WishesFriends ThanksgivingThanksgiving ChristianThanksgiving Jokes
Author:Dylan Brody
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“May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!”

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Author:Grandpa Jones
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“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.”

FoodEatingCookingBreadDietsMealsCulinaryCakeVegetablesPieThanksgivingDeliciousSpicesDessertDietingCarrotsPumpkinHealthy FoodHealthy EatingEating FoodFruits And VegetablesFunny FoodFood And EatingHealthy DietGreat FoodHealth FoodFresh FoodHappy ThanksgivingFunny ThanksgivingDelicious FoodThanksgiving FunnyHome CookingFunny Happy ThanksgivingFunny DietNice ThanksgivingSweets And DessertsFun FoodAmerican DietEating BreadEating Healthy FoodPumpkin PieThanksgiving CardHumble PieDessert FirstSharing FoodZucchiniEating Humble Pie
Book:Garfield Eats His Heart Out: His 6th Book
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“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”

KidsFunCookingThanksgivingPearlsHarborsThanksgiving DayThanksgiving ThanksThanksgiving HolidayInspirational ThanksgivingFunny ThanksgivingThanksgiving FunnyLove ThanksgivingHome CookingThanksgiving GreetingsFunny Happy ThanksgivingThanksgiving LoveThanksgiving WishesThanksgiving And LoveFunny Thanksgiving DayHappy Thanksgiving WishesHappy Thanksgiving LoveNice ThanksgivingThanksgiving JokesCooking ShowsCooking Dinner
Author:Phyllis Diller
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“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings.”

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Author:William Arthur Ward
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