“The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.”
Funny Diet Quotes
Browse 38 quotes about Funny Diet.
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Funny Diet Quotes
Source: The Snake Has All the Lines
“It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.”
Source: Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist
“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.”
“In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”
“The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.”
“Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may diet.”
Source: Mates, Dates and Chocolate Cheats
“Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”
Source: The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And Other Small Acts of Liberation
“If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.”
Source: Andy Rooney: 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit
“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.”
Source: Leaking Laffs Between Pampers and Depends
“I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.”
Source: Please Don't Eat the Daisies
“A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.”
Source: The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose
“I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.”
Source: Dave Barry Turns 50
“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.”
Source: Garfield Eats His Heart Out: His 6th Book
“Pasta doesn't make you fat. How much pasta you eat makes you fat.”
“That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.”
“Once you have to start counting calories, it takes away from the joy of eating.”