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Two Quotes

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Two Quotes

“The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of Tokyo to wear matching outfits than to get any two randomly selected Americans to agree on pizza toppings.”

Two Would Be Funny Groups Easier Agree Population Japan Pizza Selected Outfits Tokyo Matching Docile Toppings

Book:Dave Barry Does Japan

Source: Dave Barry Does Japan

“The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose - for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.”

Humans Two Humor Seems Funny Purpose Human Beings Animal Party Greater Example Capacity Dinner Invention Boredom Bores Epic Metaphysics Dinner Party Epic Poems

Book:Minority Report

Source: Minority Report

“I would recommend to those persons who are inclined to stagnate, whose blood is beginning to thicken sluggishly in their veins, to try keeping four dogs, two of which are puppies.”

Trying Persons Two Funny Four Blood Dog Veins Puppy Cute Puppy

Book:Delphi Complete Works of Elizabeth von Arnim (Illustrated)

Source: Delphi Complete Works of Elizabeth von Arnim (Illustrated)

“There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.”

People Ifs Two Humor Funny Week Paid Bread Minimum Wages Minimum Wage Spam

Author:Chris Rock

“There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.”

Kind Children Two Humor Funny Pleasure Travel Cruise

Author:George Burns

“My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.”

“Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey taxi." Two is "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdales?" And three is "Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound.”

Two Humor Funny Three Cities Worry Study Heard New York Train Flesh Wounds Hey Phrases New York City Taxi

Author:David Letterman

“The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the silliest thing I ever heard of in politics . . . Lord if they feel that way about it, I don't see why they don't just reverse the two words.”

Ifs Way Feels Two Humor Funny Names Party Lord Heard Republican Humorous Democrat Reverse Dams Hoover Hoover Dam

Book:Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

Source: Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

“Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.”

Two Funny Happiness Watches Week Findings Sitting Neighbor Vacation Slides Two Weeks Colony Sitting Down Nudists

Author:Johnny Carson

“There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done. School and prison.”

World Two Done School Funny Jobs Learning Prison Schooling Places In The World Unschooling Precedence

Author:William Glasser