“My wife said I look like a Latin American dictator. I said, 'That's what I am'” LooksSaidWifeMy WifeLatinDictatorLatin AmericaLatin American Author:Oscar de la Renta
“He who look at a woman who is not his wife as a mother; wealth that is not his as dust and all the men as himself... is a happy man. He, who sees all these things under a different light, is a blind.” MenLooksDifferentLightMotherWealthWifeHe ManBlindDustHappy Man Author:Chanakya
“The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!” IfsMenLooksSaidCareWifeDon't CareDinnerSillyInvisibleI Don't Care Author:Red Buttons
“I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.” ThinkingLooksHandsPurposeBlackWifeDoorsCarSexyMy WifeFingernails Author:Emo Philips
“Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700s, and they caught him last year. If you cheat on your wife and cover it up for 200 years, you're pretty much thinking you're home free.” IfsThinkingYearsLooksHomeKidsLastsGuyWifeCaughtLast YearCheatYou Re Pretty Author:Greg Giraldo
“I want to warn potential victims. Many of them are women, and many of them are battered women. It's a cause for me. When I look back, though, so many of the books I've written are about wives who just couldn't get away.” WantLooksBookCausesWifeWrittenMen And WomenVictimGet AwayBatteredBattered Women Author:Ann Rule
“My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you something: I know soy beans are good for a lot of things. Let's stay out of the bacon market! It says It looks and tastes like real bacon! No it doesn't! It tastes like somebody bacon-flavored a turd, that's what it tastes like!” KnowsTryingLooksRealStuffWifeTasteLet MeMy WifeStoresHelpfulGroceriesBeansGrocery StoresSoyTurds Author:Bill Engvall
“I bet when all the punctuation marks have a party, they quietly look at exclamation point's wife and think, that poor woman.” ThinkingLooksPoorPartyWifeMarkPunctuationExclamationExclamation PointsPunctuation Marks Author:Dana Gould
“So my wife said she read this article in a magazine and she said: "You know, maybe you're suffering from premature ejaculation." Yeah, does it look like I'm suffering? Those aren't tears on your belly.” KnowsLooksDoeSaidSufferingWifeTearsYeahMy WifeMagazinesArticlesBellyPrematureEjaculationPremature Ejaculation Author:Robert Schimmel
“To you wives who are constantly complaining and see only the dark side of life, and feel that you are unloved and unwanted, look into your own hearts and minds. If there is something wrong, turn about. Put a smile on your faces. Make yourselves more attractive. Brighten your outlook.” IfsFeelsMindLooksHeartFacesTurnsSidesDarkWifeComplainingAttractiveYour FaceHeart And MindOutlookDark SideUnwantedUnlovedSmile On Your FaceWrong Turn Author:Gordon B. Hinckley
“I was indicted on two federal conspiracies. My wife was on the Ten Most Wanted list. That's what fascism was going to look like. That's what it did look like.” LooksTwoWantedWifeTenMy WifeListsFascismConspiracyMost Wanted Author:Bill Ayers
“My personal time is limited, more so than I wish. However, my wife and I have talked about the fact that there are opportunities right now that won't be there forever. For example, when the Grateful Dead offered me to tour in 2004, my first reaction was to say no, I just can't do it. Then my wife said, "Well, let's rethink this. You don't want to look back down the road and say, I could've done that, but I said no." So, we made it work.” WantFirstsWellsLooksMadeSaidDoneFactsOpportunityWishForeverWifeExampleRight NowGratefulMy WifeReactionsMade ItDown The RoadPersonal Time Author:Warren Haynes
“I watched that new reality show on ABC with Charlie Gibson, 'America's Next Top Vice President.' ... Oh, what an exciting show that is! Did you see Sarah Palin's interview with Charlie Gibson? Did you all watch that? In fact, John McCain was watching it at home, and at one point, he turned to his wife and said, 'She looks really familiar.'” LooksSaidFactsShowsHomeRealityAmericaNextPresidentWatchesWifeExcitingVicesFamiliarInterviewsCharlieVice PresidentMccainPalinReality Shows Author:Jay Leno