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Famous Dark Jar Tin Zoo Quotes

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.”

Source: Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally irresponsible.”

Love Life Humor Funny Names Sex Money Responsibility Trust Baby Birth Irresponsible Babies Condoms Baby Names Fiscally Irresponsible

Book:Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

Source: Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.”

Love Life Humor Age Funny Death Time Relationships Food Absurd Old Age Nonsense Retirement Cannibal Cannibalism Leftovers Retirement Home

Book:Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

Source: Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.”

Life Humor Funny Relationships Sleep Dreams Dreaming Sleeping Word Junkies

Book:I Had a Dream About You

Source: I Had a Dream About You

“I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts spray-painted red in a series of packages that also included ransom notes. Then, towards the end of the dream, the cops surrounded my cave and swarmed in to arrest me. Sweating, my eyes shot open, and I realized it was a dream. “Of course it’s a dream,” I thought. “The cops have no idea where my cave is, and your first package has yet to be delivered.””

Life Humor Funny Relationships Sleep Dreams Dreaming Sleeping

Book:I Had a Dream About You

Source: I Had a Dream About You

“I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked like me, but I also looked like a mannequin. Between the two of us, we were too fake even for Hollywood. And as such, we were forced to reside in Washington DC.”

Life Humor Funny Relationships Sleep Dreams Dreaming Sleeping

Book:I Had a Dream About You

Source: I Had a Dream About You

“I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched roles and I became the mannequin. But instead of putting clothes on me, you laughed at my nakedness, and you sold me to the owner of a sex shop.”

Life Humor Funny Relationships Sleep Dreams Dreaming Sleeping

Book:I Had a Dream About You

Source: I Had a Dream About You

“Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.”

Love Life Humor Funny Sex Relationships Bed Clarity Making Love Animated Mannequin

Book:Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

Source: Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.”

Love Life Humor Funny Death Relationships Murder Game Word Junkies

Book:Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

Source: Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

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Quotes: 22

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Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.Related source material

I Had a Dream About YouRelated source material

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