“I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.” PeopleIfsSometimesHumorFunnyEnjoyWonderQuietDead People Author:Doug Stanhope
“What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.” IfsWantDoeMy OwnLeaderVoteWhat If Author:Doug Stanhope
“I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner was the problem on that? That's why I'm a bad lover? Do you have a pill that's gonna make me care if she cums? That would be a medical miracle.” IfsProblemWould BeCareSubjectsLoversMiracleMedicalPillsSpamBoners Author:Doug Stanhope
“If you have a good product. You don't need to advertise. You've done drugs? Did you ever see them advertised?” IfsNeedsDoneProductsDrug Author:Doug Stanhope
“Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.” IfsShouldEndsHumorFunnyLife IsHalfWalkingDepressionBlameSuicideSatWorthwhileLife Is LikeEvery SecondWalking Out Author:Doug Stanhope
“If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?” IfsBelieveHumorFunnyEternalBliss Author:Doug Stanhope
“If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.” IfsChildrenLanguageParentRaisesOffended Author:Doug Stanhope
