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Famous Douglas Adams Quotes

“But the plans were on display…” “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.” “That’s the display department.” “With a flashlight.” “Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.” “So had the stairs.” “But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?” “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”

WellsLooksSaidLightFoundGonePlansDoorsBottomStuckDepartmentDisplayLockedStairsCabinetsArthurCellarsFilingLeopardsFlashlightsHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideArthur DentFiling Cabinet
Book:The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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“It is most gratifying," it said, "that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated, and so we would like to assure you that the guided missiles currently converging with your ship are part of a special service we extend to all of our most enthusiastic clients, and the fully armed nuclear warheads are of course merely a courtesy detail. We look forward to your custom in future lives ... thank you.”

LooksSaidCoursesSpecialPlanetsDetailsNuclearShipsEnthusiasmCustomsClientsCourtesyOur PlanetEnthusiasticMissilesFuture Life
Author:Douglas Adams
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“So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die." "Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried. "What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round. "No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all.”

SaidDiesWaitingLinesBehindsVisionMinutesRoundsCriedChamberArthurFord Prefect
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“Insofar as she recognized at all that she was dreaming, she realized that she must be exploring her subconscious mind. She had heard it said that humans are supposed only to use about a tenth of their brains, and that no one was really clear what the other nine tenths were for, but she had certainly never heard it suggested that they were used for storing penguins.”

MindHumansSaidUseDreamUsedBrainClearHeardNineExploringSubconsciousSubconscious MindPenguins
Book:Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
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“Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service. Shut up. Thank you. Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy. Hope your diodes rot. Thank you. Have a nice day. Stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. It is my pleasure to open for you... Zark off. ...and my satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done. I said zark off. Thank you for listening to this message.”

WellsSaidDoneJobsSimplePleasureNiceDoorsListeningMessagesSatisfactionShut UpVery HappyWell DoneNice DayJob Well DoneHave A Nice Day
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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“We're not obsessed by anything, you see," insisted Ford. "..." "And that's the deciding factor. We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win." "I care about lots of things," said Slartibartfast, his voice trembling partly with annoyance, but partly also with uncertainty. "Such as?" "Well," said the old man, "life, the Universe. Everything, really. Fjords." "Would you die for them?" "Fjords?" blinked Slartibartfast in surprise. "No." "Well then." "Wouldn't see the point, to be honest.”

MenWellsSaidCareDiesUniverseWinningVoiceHonestSurpriseObsessionFactorsBeing HonestUncertaintyObsessedOld ManI CareTremblingCan't WinAnnoyanceWell SaidFjords
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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“All through my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was." "No," said the old man, "that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.”

MenWorldSaidFeelingsBigsUniverseStrangeNormalOld ManParanoiaSinisterPerfectly Normal
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“You cannot see what I see because you see what you see. You cannot know what I know because you know what you know. What I see and what I know cannot be added to what you see and what you know because they are not of the same kind. Neither can it replace what you see and what you know, because that would be to replace you yourself." "Hang on, can I write this down?" said Arthur, excitedly fumbling in his pocket for a pencil.”

KnowsWritingKindSaidWould BePocketsPencilsArthur
Book:The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Five Novels in One Outrageous Volume
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“Ghastly," continued Marvin, "it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don't even talk about it. Look at this door," he said, stepping through it. The irony circuits cut in to his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales brochure. " 'All the doors in his spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.' " As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sighlike quality to it. "Hummmmmmmyummmmmmmah!" it said.”

WellsLooksSaidDoneJobsVoicePleasureBehindsQualityCuttingDoorsStyleSatisfactionSatisfiedIronyDispositionCheerfulSunnyCircuitsWell DoneSpaceshipsGhastlyMarvinJob Well DoneBrochuresSunny Disposition
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“Come on,” he droned, “I’ve been ordered to take you down to the bridge. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? ’Cos I don’t.” He turned and walked back to the hated door. “Er, excuse me,” said Ford following after him, “which government owns this ship?” Marvin ignored him. “You watch this door,” he muttered, “it’s about to open again. I can tell by the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates.”

SaidI CanGovernmentJobsAsksBrainWatchesDoorsAirPlanetsSizeSatisfactionFollowingExcuseShipsBridgesAsk MeHatedIgnoredHere I AmExcuse MeMarvinSmugnessJob Satisfaction
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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“Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin. "And what happened?" pressed Ford. "It committed suicide," said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.”

HeartSaidUniverseSimpleViewsHappenedComputerGoldSuicideCommittedBoredLengthMarvinHitchhikers GuideHeart Of Gold
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“Yes it is,' said the Professor. 'Wait—' he motioned to Richard, who was about to go out again and investigate— 'let it be. It won't be long.' Richard stared in disbelief. 'You say there's a horse in your bathroom, and all you can do is stand there naming Beatles songs?' The Professor looked blankly at him.”

LongSaidSongWaitingCan DoHorseProfessorsBathroomDisbelief
Book:Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
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“Arthur shook his head and sat down. He looked up. “I thought you must be dead …” he said simply. “So did I for a while,” said Ford, “and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic.”

SaidWeekCoupleDecidedSatJumpingLemonsAmusedArthurGinJumping InGin And Tonic
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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“Ford looked at him severely. And no sneaky knocking down Mr Dent's house whilst he's away, alright?" he said. The mere thought," growled Mr Prosser, "hadn't even begun to speculate," he continued, settling himself back, "about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.”

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Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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“Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning. "...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..." "No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?" "Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens." "I can imagine.”

MeanSaidStillsI CanHandsPainCoursesLeftSidesImagineTerribleReplacedGalaxyArthurCorridorsLeft HandMarvinMoaningHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideArthur DentH2g2
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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“I begged her, 'Please don't leave me stranded in the middle of some primitive zarking forest with no medical help and a head injury. I could be in serious trouble and so could she.'" "What did she say?" "She hit me on the head with the rock again," Ford responded curtly. "I think i can confirm that was my daughter." "Sweet kid." "You have to get to know her," said Arthur. "She eases up, does she?" "No, but you get a better sense of when to duck.”

ThinkingKnowsDoeSaidI CanHelpingKidsTroubleMiddleRocksSeriousSweetPleaseDaughterMedicalForestsEaseInjuryMy DaughterDucksPrimitiveLeaving MeArthurStrandedDon't Leave MeHead InjuriesMedical Help
Author:Douglas Adams
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“David Attenborough has said that Bali is the most beautiful place in the world, but he must have been there longer than we were, and seen different bits, because most of what we saw in the couple of days we were there sorting out our travel arrangements was awful. It was just the tourist area, i.e. that part of Bali which has been made almost exactly the same as everywhere else in the world for the sake of people who have come all this way to see Bali.”

PeopleWorldWayHas BeensMadeSaidDifferentBeautifulBitsSawsCoupleAreasSakeAwfulArrangementsTouristsPlaces In The WorldBeautiful PlacesBaliSortingSorting Out
Author:Douglas Adams
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“Just supposing," he said, "just supposing" --he didn't know what was coming next, so he thought he'd just sit back and listen--"that there was some extraordinary way in which you were very important to me, and that, though you didn't know it, I was very important to you, but it all went for nothing because we only had five miles and I was a stupid idiot at knowing how to say something very important to someone I've only just met and not crash into lorries a the same time, what would you say..." He paused, helplessly, and looked at her. "I should do.”

KnowsWayShouldSaidImportantNextKnowingFiveStupidMetsExtraordinaryMilesIdiotCrashSupposingLorry
Book:So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
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“You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.” “Er, five,” said the mattress. “Wrong,” said Marvin. “You see?”

ThinkingGivingMindMaySaidNumbersFiveSubjectsExampleLet MeIntelligentBillionsThirtyRoughMarvinMattresses
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“What a wonderfully exciting cough,' said the little man, quite startled by it, 'do you mind if I join you?' And with that he launched into the most extraordinary and spectacular fit of coughing which caught Arthur so much by surprise that he started to choke violently, discovered he was already doing it and got thoroughly confused.”

IfsMenMindLittlesSaidFitExcitingSurpriseExtraordinaryCaughtConfusedSpectacularChokeArthurLittle ManCoughing
Book:Life, the Universe and Everything
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