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Famous Douglas Adams Quotes

“Having solved all the major mathematical, physical, chemical, biological, sociological, philosophical, etymological, meteorological and psychological problems of the Universe except for his own, three times over, [Marvin] was severely stuck for something to do, and had taken up composing short dolorous ditties of no tone, or indeed tune. The latest one was a lullaby. Marvin droned, Now the world has gone to bed, Darkness won't engulf my head, I can see in infrared, How I hate the night. He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse. Now I lay me down to sleep, Try to count electric sheep, Sweet dream wishes you can keep, How I hate the night.”

HumorSci FiMarvinHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyH2g2Counting Sheep
Book:Life, the Universe and Everything
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“The history of every major galactic civilisation tends to pass through three distinct and recognisable phases, those of Survival, Enquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterised by the question How can we eat?, the second by the question Why do we eat?, and the third but the question Where shall we have lunch?”

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Author:Douglas Adams
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“A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish. The bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was nowhere on board. Frantic inquiries led to the discovery that he was standing on a beach on Santraginus V over a hundred light years away where, he claimed, he had been happy for over half an hour now and had found a small stone that would be his friend.”

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Book:The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
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“At some distance down the corridor it seemed suddenly as if somebody started to beat on a bass drum. He listened to it for a few seconds and realized that it was just his heart beating. He listened for a few seconds more and realized that it wasn’t his heart beating, it was somebody down the corridor beating on a bass drum.”

FunnyFearSpaceHumourScience FictionBritishEnglishHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyDouglas AdamsDrum
Book:Life, the Universe and Everything
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“Vogonci. Ne bi ni prstom makli čak ni da spase vlastitu baku od prožrdljive bubozdrobne zvijeri s Traaala bez naređenja u tri primjerka, preporučeno poslanih s povratnicom, poslanih natrag, traženih, izgubljenih, pronađenih, podnesenih na javnu raspravu, ponovno izgubljenih i konačno pokopanih u mekom močvarnom tlu i recikliranih kao upaljač.”

Hitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyVogons
Book:The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
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“One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so—but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence, the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous.”

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Book:The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
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“Somewhere in the cosmos, he said, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, fishoids, walking treeoids and superintelligent shades of the color blue, there was also a planet entirely given over to ballpoint life forms. And it was to this planet that unattended ballpoints would make their way, slipping away quietly through wormholes in space to a world where they knew they could enjoy a uniquely ballpointoid lifestyle, responding to highly ballpoint-oriented stimuli, and generally leading the ballpoint equivalent of the good life. And as theories go this was all very fine and pleasant until Veet Voojagig suddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a while driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractables, whereupon he was taken away, locked up, wrote a book and was finally sent into tax exile, which is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make fools of themselves in public.”

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Book:The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
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“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..." "You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?" "No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people." "Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy." "I did," said Ford. "It is." "So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?" "It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want." "You mean they actually vote for the lizards?" "Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course." "But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?" "Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?" "What?" "I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?" "I'll look. Tell me about the lizards." Ford shrugged again. "Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it." "But that's terrible," said Arthur. "Listen, bud," said Ford, "if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.”

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Book:So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
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“The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.”

LongFactsLastsStarsMessagesFishesThanksSophisticatedBackwardsGalaxyBannerDolphinsWhistlingHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideHitchhikingMisinterpreted
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“One nonabsolute number is the given time of arrival, which is now known to be one of the most bizarre of mathematical concepts, a number whose existence can only be defined as being anything other than itself. In other words, the given time of arrival is the one moment of time at which it is impossible that any member of the party will arrive.”

MomentsGivenPartyNumbersExistenceKnownImpossibleMembersConceptsDefinedMathematicalBizarreArrivalsHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideMathematical Equations
Book:The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

FunnyFearMissingWittyFlyingFlightPlanesAviationPilotsAirplaneGalaxyGreat AviationKnackHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideAviatorHitchhikingPilots And FlyingHikerAirplanes And FlyingLearn To FlyFear Of FlyingBird FlyingFlying FreeFlying Cars
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Radio Scripts Volume 2: The Tertiary, Quandary and Quintessential Phases
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“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

PeopleInspirationalTryingFunnyCommonMistakeDesignFoolWittyAppreciationFoolishEngineeringEngineersFoolishnessUnderestimateAprilFake PeopleIngenuityFooledComputer ProgrammingComputer ScienceGraphic DesignComputer LanguageUnderestimatedGood DesignSoftware DesignUser ExperienceArchitecture And DesignFools And FoolishnessHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideHitchhikingArchitecture DesignGraphic ArtistInspirational DesignInspirational Graphic DesignSimplicity In DesignApril Fools DayApril FoolsCivil EngineerIndustrial DesignFools DayDesign And ArtDesign InspirationCivil EngineeringFoolproofArt DesignFunny April Fools DayCreativity And DesignFunny April FoolsGraphic Design InspirationFunny Graphic DesignInspiring DesignCreative DesignEngineering InspirationalFord PrefectGraphic ArtFoolish MistakesFool Proof
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

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Author:Douglas Adams
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“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”

MenWarReasonDoneEarthSuccessWaterNew YorkPlanetsIntelligentIntelligenceInstanceWheelsGood TimesGalaxyHaving A Good TimePlanet EarthHuman BrainDolphinsHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideHitchhikingAnimal IntelligenceFord Prefect
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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“Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.”

DifferentWarCulturePoorRaceHistoryCreationHumourCommunicationFishesBarriersHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideHitchhikingDifferent RacesBabel
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”

LifeFeelsKindSometimesWholeDreamInspirationFeltEnjoyInspiringWonderfulWhole LifeEnjoy LifeDaydreamingI Had A DreamSense Of WonderLife Is GoodHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideLife DreamOne Tree Hill VoiceoverLife Is GreatLife And DreamsSleep DreamCute Dream
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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“Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.”

PeopleWellsLife IsHalfMiddleFoodBreakfastYellowWetGalaxyLife Is LikeHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideGrapefruitFord PrefectH2g2
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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“But the plans were on display…” “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.” “That’s the display department.” “With a flashlight.” “Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.” “So had the stairs.” “But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?” “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”

WellsLooksSaidLightFoundGonePlansDoorsBottomStuckDepartmentDisplayLockedStairsCabinetsArthurCellarsFilingLeopardsFlashlightsHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideArthur DentFiling Cabinet
Book:The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.”

ThinkingLittlesStillsTwoIdeasEndsFormScienceLyingWatchesMillionsSunPlanetsArmsBlueGreenDistanceWesternMilesDigitalYellowPrimitiveGalaxyInsignificantNinetyApesNeatCosmologySpiralsUnchartedHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideHikerBlue PlanetYellow Sun
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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“My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.”

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Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Radio Scripts Volume 2: The Tertiary, Quandary and Quintessential Phases
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“The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch?”

FirstsThreeKnownCivilizationMajorsSurvivalThirdsInstanceLunchPhasesInquiryGalaxySophisticationHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideH2g2
Book:The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
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“Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.”

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Book:The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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“The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.”

ReligionAtheismProveArgumentLogicAtheistRefuseDenyProofAgnosticGalaxyReligious FaithThere Is No GodAtheisticGod ExistsPuffExistence Of GodThere Being No GodHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideHitchhikingFaith ReligionNon ExistenceBabelGod Is DeadReligion In SocietyHikerProof Of GodDaily AtheistProof That God ExistsProof God ExistsH2g2
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch-Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects. First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.”

FirstsTwoImportantCivilizationStandardsLettersGuidesScoreFriendlyPanicEasternGalaxyRelaxedCheaperRimsKnowledge And WisdomOmissionPedestriansHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideHikerH2g2
Book:The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
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