J.L. Bryan Quotes

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Famous J.L. Bryan Quotes

“It looks like some... giant evil garden gnome. When garden gnomes go bad.” “Gnomes have beards,” I said. “Maybe the ones without beards are evil. That's how you can tell.”

Humor Funny Evil Gardening Gnomes Gardens Facial Hair Beards

Book:The Necromancer's Library

Source: The Necromancer's Library

“Why would teenage boys go out on a boat in a storm?” Stacey wondered. “Well, now that I say it aloud, it kinda answers itself.”

Humor Funny Boys Childhood Adventure Coming Of Age Teenagers Boyhood Recklessness Teenage Boys

Book:The Trailwalker

Source: The Trailwalker

“Family pictures are emotionally charged markers, the cheerful gang tags of the reasonably happy and domesticated.”

Home Humor Kids Funny Happiness Family Photography Parents Domestic

Book:Maze of Souls

Source: Maze of Souls

“I can't wait to hike around the mountains looking for old bones,” Stacey said. “Can we do it at midnight under a full moon on Friday the 13th?”

Humor Funny Horror Scary Sarcasm Joke Ghosts Occult Spooky Friday The Thirteenth

Book:House of Whispers

Source: House of Whispers

“So why were we all summoned here today?” Jacob asked. “Is there a murder mystery involved? Someone in this restaurant is the killer? I’m guessing it was the chef, in the kitchen, with the sausage gravy. Did the victim die of rapid-onset heart disease?”

Humor Funny Mystery Health Cooking Joke Ghosts Restaurant

Book:Terminal

Source: Terminal

“I hope they have ghost insurance.” “Pretty sure you've used that joke before,” Stacey told me. “Well, maybe Jacob hadn't heard it yet.” “I have,” Jacob said.”

Humor Funny Joke Ghosts Insurance Dry Humor

Book:House of Whispers

Source: House of Whispers

“Nerd!” “You're just embarrassed you don't know more about dragons,” Jacob said. “It's okay.”

Humor Funny Silly Dragons Joke Nerd Geek Embarrassment Dork

Book:Maze of Souls

Source: Maze of Souls

“And how’s your family?” he asked. “Still dead.”

Humor Funny Death Dark Family Sarcasm Dark Humor

Book:Terminal

Source: Terminal

“Animals tend to be the most sensitive to the supernatural. They're usually the first family members to detect a haunting, followed by the kids, the wife, and the husband, in that order.”

Humor Funny Family Paranormal Animals Ghosts Supernatural Pets Husbands Haunted House

Book:Maze of Souls

Source: Maze of Souls

“You want to see if you can train the evil singing nursery ghost to...do what? Babysit evil children?”

Children Humor Kids Funny Horror Parenting Ghosts Childcare Haunted House Babysitting

Book:Lullaby

Source: Lullaby

“I know I’m not the more experienced investigator here,” Stacey said, “but I’m going to go way out on a limb and say the haunting of this estate could be related to this underground death-god temple full of human skulls.”

Humor Funny Death Dark Cult Ghosts Paganism Understatement Temple Haunted House

Book:The Lodge

Source: The Lodge

“all the coffee beans are cage-free and organically raised according to an individualized Montessori education plan before getting dumped into the roaster.”

Humor Funny Education Coffee Sarcasm Agriculture Farming Organic Coffee Beans

Book:Lullaby

Source: Lullaby

“It's your basic shapeshifting werewolf vampire zombie ghost”

Humor Funny Paranormal Vampires Ghosts Zombies Werewolves Spirits Shapeshifting

Book:The Necromancer's Library

Source: The Necromancer's Library

“I've never heard of ghosts driving ghost trucks.” “Says the girl who recently jumped onboard a ghost train.” “That was a psychokinetic visual and tactile apparition pooling energy and traumatic memories from several entities—” “Uh-huh. Ghost train,”

Humor Funny Fantasy Horror Sci Fi Ghosts Spirits Psychic Trains Trucks

Book:House of Whispers

Source: House of Whispers

About the Author

Known for: Author
Quotes: 19

Books & Sources

Maze of SoulsRelated source material

House of WhispersRelated source material

The Necromancer's LibraryRelated source material

LullabyRelated source material

TerminalRelated source material

Alexander DeathRelated source material

Jenny PoxRelated source material

The Crawling DarknessRelated source material

The LodgeRelated source material

The TrailwalkerRelated source material