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Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Book by Jarod Kintz · 9 quotes · Duck, Ducks, Duck Quote

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Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators. Quotes

“I like how grocery stores play music while I'm shopping. Vintage pop really makes me want to pay full price and avoid looking for discounts. I need to implement that financial psychology here on my duck farm.”

“I haven’t sold Spinning Death Kicks Disguised As Reading A Book Quietly since my third grade teacher confiscated all my camouflage material. She also snatched away my Duck Quacks In A Can (with 50% more flavor).”

“I once saw a moat bicycling around a castle. It was being chased by a soggy giraffe that had a tornado for a neck. I was on the overlooking grassy hill, selling lasagna-free duck soup by the slice to tourists from Nebraska.”

“When I walk my feet and knees pop. They always have. I could never be a ninja. I'm as stealthy as a strobe light at midnight, which of course is the universal sign for Buy One Duck, Get Twelve FREE. My neighbors love when I flash that deal outside their bedroom windows.”

“Every Friday The Thirteenth I celebrate Knights Templar Day. Here at my Duck Farm Gift Shop, I've got THE authentic map that details the location of their hidden treasure, and I'll sell it to you for ONLY $19.95. (Limit one per customer.)”

“Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that's foolish, because when I'm not duck farming, I'm a bicycle salesman. Well, I actually only have one bicycle to sell, and I stole it, which is what makes it so profitable.”