Book detail: And That’s Why I’m Single is presented as a focused source page for quotations connected with this book, collection, transcript, or source record.
Browse quotes from And That’s Why I’m Single.
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“it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong”
“Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity”
“Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity”
“Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of”
“If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane”
“Manners without sincerity, is called polite society”
“Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling”
“In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips?”
“Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows”
“Blood is thicker than water, and so is diarrhea”
“The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard”
“I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first”
“Only the good die young, the bad petite-mort”
“I have a keen sense of the oblivious”
“At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control”
“People who live in brick houses shouldn't throw wrecking balls”
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?”
“I'd rather be a nodding acquaintance, than a bobble head”
“Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth”
“Never borrow trouble, the payback's a bitch”
“Ever play 'mirror mirror on the wall' with two mirrors facing each other?”
“I like my coffee like I like myself....making rustling noises inside a burlap bag”
“It doesn't really matter if you're right wing or left wing....as long you're delicious”
“Every rule has an exception, and it's usually remedial”
“Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable”
“Never love anybody who treats you like you're normal...they're just the psychiatric hospital staff”
“Don't take me under your wing and tell me that scent is duck sauce”
“Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what”
“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette”
“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are”
“I might feel ten feet tall, but I wouldn't touch you with my pole”
“If Life flashes before your eyes just before you die....mine will be wearing a trench coat”
“If life is a bowl of cherries.... do you know how many virgins it took to make that....”
“I love Shark Week, where all kids under 12 swim for free”
“I hate pulling out... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing....”