Related Quotes
“it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong”
“Friends might lose touch but never lose feelings”
“Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it in summer school”
“Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity”
“Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity”
“If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?”
“Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of”
“If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane”
“Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce....?”
“Manners without sincerity, is called polite society”
“Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling”
“In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips?”
“Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle”
“Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows”
“Blood is thicker than water, and so is diarrhea”
“The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard”
“I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first”
“Only the good die young, the bad petite-mort”
“I have a keen sense of the oblivious”
“At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control”
“People who live in brick houses shouldn't throw wrecking balls”
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?”
“I'd rather be a nodding acquaintance, than a bobble head”
“Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth”
“When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time”
“Never borrow trouble, the payback's a bitch”
“I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear”
“The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code”
“Ever play 'mirror mirror on the wall' with two mirrors facing each other?”
“I like my coffee like I like myself....making rustling noises inside a burlap bag”
“It doesn't really matter if you're right wing or left wing....as long you're delicious”
“Every rule has an exception, and it's usually remedial”
“Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable”
“Never love anybody who treats you like you're normal...they're just the psychiatric hospital staff”
“You'll never know what psychopathic heights you're capable of, just lying there on the sofa”
“Don't take me under your wing and tell me that scent is duck sauce”
“Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what”
“'Having' Your Cake....a little perverted.... 'Eating' it too.....a lot perverted!”
“Death is life's way of telling you, you've been recalled”
“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette”
“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are”