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Famous Kinky Friedman Quotes
“One thing we are sure of is there's no one like Nelson Mandela out there. That's too bad for us.”
“When you record something, you never know who's going to hear it.”
“Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.”
“If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.”
“Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but...”
“There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979”
“May the God of your choice bless you.”
“Happiness is a moving target.”
“Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.”
“You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.”
“I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.”
“Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.”
“I've got a head of hair better than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.”
“Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.”
“You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.”
“If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!”
“Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.”
“They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.”
“God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.”
“An editor's job is to take something great and make it good.”
“Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her.”
“On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'.”
“Sleep came slower than a frigid woman.”
“It wasn't a healthy attitude, but it wasn't really a healthy world.”
“He looked a shade too healthy and nobody likes that. Particularly in New York.”
“The main health hazard in the world today is people who don't love themselves.”
“We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters.”