“We would love it if you would join us for lunch to discuss amputations! We love amputations. And firefighters at MetroGen. Anyone else coming?
Cassie inviting firefighters to join the bachelorette party for lunch”
Source: Roulette
“I was in no position to make decisions. But something inside of me screamed to live my life and I was pretty sure it was the alcohol.”
Source: The Kindred Soul of Nora Faye
“Oh, calm down, Olivia, I’m not asking for one of your kidneys. I just need to borrow one of Greg’s Magnum P.I. thingies.”
Source: Crazed and Confused: A Delightfully Dysfunctional Familial Memoir
“I woke up this morning. That’s the first sign I know—it’s the start of another great day.”
Source: Money's Dirty Little Secrets: How to Break the Rules, Get Filthy Rich, and Laugh All the Way to the Bank
“Seriously man, shut it.”
“Alright, alright. You’re the driver,” He raised his chip bag in toast, “My life is in your hands.”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“That's him," said Berthold. "Cut my arm off. With an ax"
Sneep turned to Jinx. "That true?"
"Yes," said Jinx. "But he--"
"Guilty," said Sneep.”
Source: Jinx's Fire
“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you all have never been to Doveport? Our sister city across the sea?” “People don’t say that,” Billy piped up. “It’ll catch on,” Badgy shot back.”
Source: The Cure
“Swear like a good girl. Son of a Hamster!”
Source: Sean
“It's all kinds of stupidly amazing," she adds. "Tell me you don't want to just get in there and rub yourself all over him like a cat?"
I smack her shoulder. "Dude, ew, okay? He's like a brother to me!"
She snorts back a laugh. "Like a step-brother? Becausr that's not technically incest.”
Source: Maybe Probably
“The Lourve, he concluded, with an insult designed to puncture French pride, "is less well protected than a Spanish museum.”