Best Funny Quotations Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“Love turns men into boys; heartache turns boys into men.”

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Author:Matshona Dhliwayo

“Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.”

“She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.”

Relationship Quotes Dinner Joke Marriage Quotes Funny Quotes Humorous Quotes Wife Quotes Husband Quotes Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Funny Quote Humorous Quote Funny Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotations Lazy Quotes Humorous Quotation

Author:Matshona Dhliwayo

“Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.”

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Author:Matshona Dhliwayo

“If you blame gravity for falling in love, even God has the right to laugh at you.”

Love Quotes Love Quotes And Sayings God Quotes Crush Gravity Love Quotations Funny Quotes Infatuation Humorous Quotes Falling In Love Quotes Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Funny Quotations Humor Quotations Laugh Quotes Falling For Someone

Author:Matshona Dhliwayo

“Feminism? Oh, it's totally unnecessary today. Just like seat belts and life jackets.”

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Author:Anubha Saxena

“Rose jabbed her cigarette at Enid and said, "I served my time in LaLaLand and if any of those bastards tell you to talk into the mike and they pull out the yogurt cannon - just remember - you're a lady! Pull up your knickers, steal their wallet, and get the hell out of there!”

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Book:Black Market Angels

Source: Black Market Angels

“Everything I touched seemed to be cursed—the next person who came in contact with that sunbed probably contracted HIV and died of a stubbed toe.”

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Book:Unprotected Treks: The Politically Incorrect Blueprint for World Travel

Source: Unprotected Treks: The Politically Incorrect Blueprint for World Travel

“Get high on love, not drugs.”

“Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.”

“Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.”

“Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.”

“The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.”

“Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.”

“An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.”

“Two things are infinite; a woman’s patience and her husband’s mistakes.”

“Sorano returned a half-hearted nod and mumbled on, dreamily. She seemed completely fascinated by a man in a rabbit costume who kept falling flat on his face whilst endlessly repeating the phrase “How dare they speak the word “motherboard” when the Neon God has no mother?” in a very affronted tone. He was accompanied by swarthy-faced dame, who aimlessly dragged a red piece of string after her. ‘Why are you dragging that string, hey?’ the rabbit-man asked the woman right before taking a spectacular nosedive, face-first into asphalt. ‘But I must drag it, I must!’ the woman replied panicky, ‘for if I try to push it, it bends.”

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Book:5 Stars

Source: 5 Stars

“A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.”

“The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.”

“Love is my favorite drug; I overdose on it regularly.”

“Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.”

“Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.”

“If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.”

“If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.”

“Women never stalk men; they just research them intensely.”

“If you think that happiness = Life - problems; then you must be suffering from a severe form of dys-life-calculia.”

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Author:Anoir Ou-chad

“A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.”

“The fastest way to end an argument with your wife is to admit she’s right.”