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Humor Quote Quotes

Browse 26 quotes about Humor Quote.

Humor Quote Quotes

“I love that there's no cutoff where we get labeled and sent off to a home for hopeless, cranky, depressives. Every day is a new chance to listen longer and be braver and love more. We get to try again and again and again.”

“A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably under a restraining order.”

“Get high on love, not drugs.”

“The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.”

“Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.”

“I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They're like, 'Who is this guy?' And I'm like, 'the end of your industry.”

“An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.”

“Love is my favorite drug; I overdose on it regularly.”

“Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.”

“Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.”

“Women never stalk men; they just research them intensely.”