I Quotes
Browse famous quotes beginning with I. This page is a child index of the full Popular Quotes A-Z directory.
“If I were a musical instrument, I would be… Drums as you can beat me all you want to but I still will do things my own way regardless of peer pressure.”
“If I were a painter I would paint my reverie If that's the only way for you to be with me”
“If I were a painter, I would paint beautiful bodies - I would paint nipples, and I would paint Bibles. Am I going to say, 'I'm not going to paint this woman's neck because people will think I just want to lick on necks?' Please! That's not what art is about.”
“If I were a painter, you'd be calling me Shaqcasso.”
“If I were a Palestinian of the right age, I'd eventually join one of the terrorist organizations.”
“If I were a pattern, I would be the pattern of paint that a bird would make if you dipped a bird’s wings in watercolour and then set the bird loose inside a paper lantern. I’m pretty sure that’s it!”
“If I were a person of color in Florida, I would pick up a brick and start walking toward that courthouse in Sanford. Those that do not, those that hold the pain and betrayal inside and somehow manage to resist violence - these citizens are testament to a stoic tolerance that is more than the rest of us deserve. I confess, their patience and patriotism is well beyond my own.”
“If I were a person who was non-American, I would think humanitarian intervention is just another name for United States imperialism.”
“If I were a physician, and if I were allowed to prescribe just one remedy for all the ills of the modern world, I would prescribe silence. For even if the Word of God were proclaimed in the modern world, how could one hear it with so much noise? Therefore, create silence.”
“If I were a physics teacher or a science teacher, it'd be on my mind all the time as how the hell we really got this way. It's a perfectly natural human thought and, okay, if you go into the science class you can't think this. Well, alright, as soon as you leave you can start thinking about it again without giving aid and comfort to the lunatic fringe of the Christian religion.”
“If I were a piano player, I'd play it in the goddam closet.”
Source: THE CATCHER IN THE RYE
“If I were a place, the area of South Bank, in London. Between the Hayward Gallery, National Theatre and all other activities, I'm never bored. I would also say New York for the breathtaking skyline formed by the buildings and the fast pace of the city, whatever the time of day.”
“If I were a player, I would like to be like Busquets.”
“If I were a religious person, I would have been very freaking one; mixture of logic and lie.”
“If I were a Roman Catholic, I should turn a heretic, in sheer desperation, because I would rather go to heaven than go to purgatory.”
Source: The Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit: Sermons Preached and Revised
“If I were a seagull
I wouldn't have to stick around
If people argued- I would fly off,
swerve, wheel, dip, scream.
a thousand wings of company if I have friends
two strong wings of my own
If I don't”
Source: Losing Christina Collection
“If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class.”
Source: Magical Thinking
“If I were a snarky Reddit user though, I would say, hypothetically, that that would just be like reading Reddit's Front Page a day later. But I'm not going to go there.”
“If I were a strategically minded person, I think I would have a far different career.”
“If I were a supervillain, I would end capitalism, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia... but I guess that's a little too obvious and not villain-y enough. Because that's actually being a superhero. I would break down poverty with my machete; I would end world hunger.”
“If I were a teacher, I would have a concealed handgun permit.”
“If I were a teacher, I would like to teach freshman English - so I could be the Robin Williams type in Dead Poets Society. I wanna be that guy. I couldn't teach seniors because they'd be smarter than me.”
“If I were a teacher, I would recommend that all my students very hurriedly read most of Orwell's books, especially 1984 and Animal Farm, because then they'd begin to understand the world we live in.”
“If I were a tree, I would have no reason to love a human.”
“If I were a weaker man, I would have quit. Something is testing me, I'm not a religious man, so I'm not going to throw the God word around.”
“If I were a white candidate, I'd have won the Democratic nomination.”
“If I were a woman I should march out with a flaming torch and a sword; I should emasculate right and left.”
Source: The Far Side of the World
“If I were a woman I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that liked me and breaths that I defied not”
Source: The plays and poems of William Shakspeare
“If I were a woman, I would love to have lots of kids. But for men, I don’t believe in it.”
“If I were a worm, I would rather be the long-lived mutant than the normal worm, that's for sure.”
“If I were a writer and not a singer in 10 years, I don't know how I'd feel about writing really personal songs and getting someone else to sing them.”
“If I were a writer, how I would enjoy being told the novel is dead. How liberating to work in the margins, outside a central perception. You are the ghoul of literature. Lovely.”
“If I were a young coach today, I would be extremely careful in selecting assistants.”
“If I were a young man With my bones full of marrow, Oh, if I were a bold young man Straight as an arrow, I'd store up no virtue For Heaven's distant plain, I'd live at ease as I did please And sin once again.”
Source: Country Sentiment
“If I were a young man, I would not hesitate at writing anything to get into print, except pornography.”
“If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the ground some of the blue-white poison that makes statues of men; and I would make a statue of myself, lying on my back, grinning horribly, and thumbing my nose at You Know Who.”
“If I were a zombie
I'd never eat your brain
I'd just want your heart”
“If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!”
“If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.”
“If I were advising President Obama, since he's the one running, I would have made his campaign very simple. I promise that in four years, I will get more Americans, as many as I possibly can, the opportunity and access to some form of post-secondary education. I want more of them to graduate high school with the skill-set of post-secondary education and I want more of them to be able to obtain that post-secondary education. This is the only way we are going to close the income gap.”
“If I were afraid of polls, I never would've been elected in two landslide elections, leading a highest percentage in our state's last election for governor. If I were afraid of polls, we wouldn't have privatized our charity hospital system, we wouldn't cut our state budget 26%, wouldn't have cut over 30,000 state government bureaucrats, wouldn't have done statewide school choice. Here's the real record.”
“If I were afraid of wrinkles, I'd probably be hiding in a cupboard, because I have a lot of them.”
“If I were alive in Rubens's time, I'd be celebrated as a model. Kate Moss would be used as a paint brush.”
“If I were alone right now I would descend into the bowels of my mind and, this time, I wasn’t certain I could come back. There was less and less reason for me to.”
Source: Broken
“If I were always happy in life, what would I have left to dream about?”
“If I were an American, as I am an Englishman, while a foreign troop was landed in my country, I never would lay down my arms never never never!”
Source: A history of the Right Honorable William Pitt, Earl of Chatham: containing his speeches in Parliament : a considerable portion of his correspondence, when Secretary of State, upon French, Spanish, and American affairs, never before published with an account of the principal events and persons of his time, connected with his life, sentiments and administrations ; (Mit dem Bildnisse Pitts)
“If I were an anarchist and nothing further, they would have easily exposed me. They are particularly geared towards detecting anyone who tries to approach the powerful with mischievous intent, ‘with a dagger in his cloak.’ The anarch can lead a lonesome existence; the anarchist is sociable and must get together with peers.”
Source: Eumeswil
“If I were an animal, I would be an eagle.”
“If I were an animal, I'd probably be a bald eagle, since I'm already bald and I love to fish. But I'd probably be a shaky-ass eagle because I'm afraid of flying.”
“If I were an Arab-American, I would insist on being profiled. This is not the time for civil rights. There are larger issues for Americans.”