N Quotes
Browse famous quotes beginning with N. This page is a child index of the full Popular Quotes A-Z directory.
“New Rule: If you can force a woman to look at a sonogram—to see what will happen if she has an abortion—you also have to let her see a crying baby, a bratty five-year-old, and a surly teenager to see what will happen if she doesn’t. And you have to tell her it costs $204,000 to raise it until it turns eighteen, in 2028, where it will be a slave to the Chinese, in a radioactive world with no animals, fish, or plants.”
Source: The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
“New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina has a sign out front that says 'Obama... Osama... Hmmm... Are they brothers?' No, they're not brothers. In fact, they're not even related, which is more than I can say for the married couples in your church.”
“New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: "We go beyond the headlines." That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, "We land our jets on the runway"!”
Source: New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer
“New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the same; 'What part of freedom don't you get, you morons?'. I'll answer that for you Mr. President. The part where you give it to people by blowing them up.”
“New Rule: Since our new national position on science is, "Screw it, we prefer witchcraft," let's not just retire the Space Shuttle Atlantis. Let's drive it to one of the five stupidest States and have the locals beat it with sticks. Putting it in a museum is too dangerous. Someone could steal it, fly it into space and notice we revolve around the sun.”
Source: The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
“New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of "every man for himself" doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.”
“New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I'm not talking about this past Easter. I'm talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.”
Source: The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
“New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. It’s not their field. It’s like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Here’s what they know about: spray tans, fake boobs and baton twirling. Here’s what they don’t know about: everything else. If I cared about the uninformed opinions of some ditsy beauty queen, I’d join the Tea Party.”
“New rule: Stop calling it Obamacare. It's not like Obama will be the doctor for
your next prostate exam. That's just a common fantasy of Republican men.”
“New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.”
“New Rule: The rest of the world can go back to being completely jealous of America. Our majority white country just freely elected a black president, something no other democracy has ever done. Take that Canada! Where's your nubian warrior president? Your head of state is a boring white dude named Steven Harper, and mine is a kick-ass black ninja named Barack Hussein Obama!”
Source: The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
“New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the Reverend Ted Haggard, was outed for drugs and extramarital gay sex with a male prostitute. Or as Fox News reported it, 'John Kerry hates our troops'.”
“New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts.”
“New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.”
“New Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't look like you're sensitive, you look like you're homeless.The last guy to pick up a chick with an Apple was Adam. And when you sit across from another dateless loser with a laptop, it still doesn't look like you're working--it looks like you're playing Battleship.”
Source: The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
“New rules are made when you break one”
“New rules—we needed new rules. No one opens the main doors but me. No one leaves the property without me. No one goes outside without letting me know. I had these horrible images in my head of kids being restrained against their wills, of kids crying my name out, begging me to help them when I was powerless. Desperate times… Lord, my soul called out. Lord…somehow that’s as far as I could get. I didn’t have the words.”
Source: Perfect Glass
“New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won’t hit Charles’s mate in front of his father.”
Source: Cry Wolf
“New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.”
“New sales managers are the forgotten rookie - they were pros at selling, but all of a sudden they're a rookie at management.”
“New sciences developed, based on observation of the real world, rather than speculation. Rational thought was valued over inspiration, and logic over magic. All the natural world was closely observed and recorded by self-styled "scientists" who thought that the rich diversity in nature would be understood by being defined and categorized. The diversity of human beings, the one human body, that could have both male and female qualities, and change from female to male, did not fit this new hunger for precise and limited labeling. The new philosophers decided that there were only two sexes, fixed and unchanging, completely opposite, male and female, normal and other. They saw this simple binary model because they favored it. They found it because they looked for it, because it fitted their ideas of male and female status. When they saw behaviors or nature that did not support a rigid binary model, they explained them away. The changing sex of the developing fetus, the presence of all the sex organs in early development was ignored. Two sexes, completely opposite, were never a genuine observation, supported by all the other evidence, but an intellectual fashion, in all modernizing Europe thought, invented to explain and justify sexual inequality.”
Source: Normal Women: Nine Hundred Years of Making History
“New scientific ideas never spring from a communal body, however organized, but rather from the head of an individually inspired researcher who struggles with his problems in lonely thought and unites all his thought on one single point which is his whole world for the moment.”
“New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That's encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I've got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs.”
“New security architecture is being laid down in the Northern Middle East, Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, in which pro-Iranian governments are consolidating their grip on the territory and they're backed by Russia, to a large degree. And this has caused great grief and consternation in Saudi Arabia and amongst many of the United States' allies, Israel, the Gulf countries, Turkey, because they see this new architecture of security and Iranian influence and Russian influence as something that's very bad for them.”
“New security loopholes are constantly popping up because of wireless networking. The cat-and-mouse game between hackers and system administrators is still in full swing.”
“New Self, New World is an extraordinary work—an awesome display of wisdom distilled from the world’s great wisdom traditions and the majestic individuals who have experienced them. This book is about achieving the highest dimensions of which humans are capable. Highly recommended.”
“New sentient creatures filled the unseen depths, Life's glory and swiftness ran in the beauty of beasts.”
Source: Savitri: A Legend and a Symbol
“New Singapore will be one of the world's finest, most liveable cities. Arts, theatres, museums, music and sports will flourish. Singapore will be a lively and exciting place.. Our city will not only have depth, but also the richness of diversity. But above all, Singapore will a home for Singaporeans.”
“New situations inspire new thoughts. Here is the benefit of travelling, much more than in mere sight-seeing. We lose ourselves in the streets of our own city, and go abroad to find ourselves.”
Source: Intuitions and Summaries of Thought
“New skin, a new land! And a land of liberty, if that is possible! I chose the geology of a land that was new to me.”
Source: The Secret Life of Salvador Dalí
“New socialize by insulting each other, but don`t really mean it. Woman socialize by complimenting each other but don`t really mean it”
“New solutions win by virtue of adoption, and they don't get adopted if they're bad solutions.”
“New songs are why artists go on the road. That's why I go on the road. It's a three-prong play. Writing: You're intrigued. Recording: It brings it to life. And then you want to share it.”
“New sounds rustled through her anti-depressant haze; a gentle reverberation from the heart of the home... another creek... another thunk... rapid clicking like the wings of a broken cricket. Then, raindrops on metal... the escalating blare of a car horn... the scream of wet tires and the clink clink clink of showering glass.”
Source: Fallout Dreams
“New standards for safety are now in place and Canada has helped provide tools and techniques that were needed. Technologies like these are innovative and represent great achievements for us.”
“New start. New rules.”
“New start or not, there was a line to be drawn, and that line was singing musicals to yourself as serious psychological motivation.”
Source: Scarlett Fever
“New steps. That's what it amounted to. The two of them were learning the steps that would bring them together, a dance that would take them into forever. A dance that could be nothing less than God's plan for their lives.”
Source: The Redemption Collection: Redemption / Remember / Return / Rejoice / Reunion
“New struggles. -- After Buddha was dead, they still showed his shadow in a cave for centuries -- a colossal, horrible shadow. God is dead, but given the way people are, there may still be caves for millennia in which his shadow is displayed. -- And we -- we must still defeat his shadow as well!”
Source: The Gay Science: With a Prelude in Rhymes and an Appendix of Songs
“New studies show that 100% of all smokers die.”
“New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.”
“New Super Mario Br - I'm just gonna call it "Steve" from now on, all right?”
“New surroundings have a way of returning attention to areas that may have become rote.”
“New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!”
“New talents are the future.”
“New teacher, if old was GreenHollyWood the new.... will be.... will be.... why not Holly Grendery... a teacher who lives agony - My Father (Bill) used to say if somebody is feeling miserable... let's take him out of his own misery.”
“New teachers were just a part of life, for a few days after one arrived, squawks of interest were emitted from various corners, but then they died away as the teacher was absorbed like everyone else...before you knew it, the fresh ones seemed to have been teaching there forever too, or else they didn't last very long, and were gone before you'd gotten to know them.”
“New tech almost always looks dumb right before it completely changes your life.”
“New techniques - often spinning out of technology and lack of privacy has resulted in new manipulative communication formats.”
“New technologies are a good thing but we must consider how they will impact on us so that, when they become achievable, they aren't allowed to run amok.”