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Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“The hugely popular Windows 95 operating system revolutionized the software world thanks to its capability of accomplishing the seemingly impossible task of making Bill Gates even richer than he already was.”

World Humor Funny Impossible Tasks Window Bills Thanks Gates Software Capability Microsoft Operating Systems

Book:Dave Barry in Cyberspace

Source: Dave Barry in Cyberspace

“I haven't had a chance to talk, but I'm confident we'll get a bill that I can live with if we don't.”

Ifs I Can Humor Political Chance Havens Bills Political Humor

Author:George W. Bush

“Can't living with the bill means it won't become law.”

Mean Humor Law Political Bills Political Humor

Author:George W. Bush

“Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.”

Humor Funny Guy Computer Cat Bills Gates Bad Guys Persian Bond Movie James Bond Movie Monocles

Author:Dennis Miller

“I miss the $2 bill, 'cause I can break a two. $20, no. $10, no. $5, maybe, $2? Oh yeah. What do you need, a one and another one?”

Needs I Can Two Humor Funny Causes Break Missing Yeah Bills

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote."”

People Humor Wanted Funny Pay Tvs Bills Screens Checks Hey Mail Offering Remote Control

Author:Jay Leno

“People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'”

People Humor Funny Bills Optimist

Author:Bill Bailey

“Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.”

Humor Funny Night Magic Bills British Parks

Author:Frankie Boyle

“I watched as an extremely nerdy exhibitor - I'm talking about a guy who makes Bill Gates look like Brad Pitt.”

Looks Humor Funny Guy Talking Bills Gates Microsoft Brad Nerdy

Book:Dave Barry in Cyberspace

Source: Dave Barry in Cyberspace

“I bought Windows 2.0, Windows 3.0, Windows 3.1415926, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME, Windows RSVP, The Best of Windows, Windows Strikes Back, Windows Does Dallas, and Windows Let's All Buy Bill Gates a House the Size of Vermont.”

Doe Humor Funny House Window Bills Size Strikes Gates Microsoft Dallas Vermont Strike Back

Book:Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism

Source: Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism