“I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.” HumorWantedFunnyStoresBirthdayCakeCandleFirefighterFunny Food Author:Mitch Hedberg
“People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"” PeopleLongUseHumorFunnyMotherGuyFoundWishHairDrugDaughterLongingExcitedExtremesStrangerSmellCakeAssociatesThat GuyLong HairFlourDrug Use Author:Mitch Hedberg
“For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.” HumorFunnyAudienceComedyMinutesListeningConversationJokesTwentiesFollowingCakeStand Up Comedy Author:Jim Gaffigan
“Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.” YearsHumorFunnyLastsFireCakeLast YearMy BirthdayPrairieBirthday Cake Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch something on my birthday. I don't want it to be from the cake. If you know what I'm saying.” IfsKnowsWantWholeHumorFunnyRitualCakeCandleGermsMy Birthday Author:Craig Ferguson
“TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.” ShouldHumorFunnyCakeToddler Author:Natasha Leggero