“I called the hotel operator and she said, "How can I direct your call?" I said, "Well, you could say 'Action!', and I'll begin to dial. And when I say 'Goodbye', then you can yell 'Cut!'"” WellsSaidHumorActionFunnyCuttingDirectGoodbyeHotelSaying GoodbyeOperators Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.” HumorFunnyThreeHouseEqualShiningComedianHotelVegasLas VegasBounceShampoo Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my hotel door. It's time to go to "Don't Disturb". It's been "Do Not" for too long. We should embrace the contraction.” ShouldLongHumorFunnyDoorsEmbraceHotelContractions Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I like the public hot-tub at the hotels. I like when a guy is already in there, I say, "Hey, do you mind if I join you?" Then I go turn the heat up, and I add some carrots and onions.” IfsMindHumorFunnyGuyTurnsHotAddHeyHeatHotelOnionsCarrotsTubsHot Tub Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.” HumorFunnyRoundsGirlfriendRestaurantsHotelOne TimeMerryMy GirlfriendMerry Go RoundRotatingBurritos Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I got a hotel room at New York New York in Las Vegas and I was very happy. They've got that rollercoaster encircling the entire premises, just like Manhattan.” HumorFunnyRoomsNew YorkHotelVery HappyPremisesVegasLas VegasManhattanHotel RoomsRollercoaster Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I cannot tell you what hotel I'm staying at, but there are two trees involved.” TwoHumorFunnyTreeInvolvedHotelStayingTwo Trees Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.” HumorFunnyStuffSawsBuildingScaredHotelNeighborhoodLos AngelesCracksAbandonedGhettoAbandoned Buildings Author:Chris Rock
“People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER!” PeopleKnowsFeelsLongHumorFunnyRoomsNiceLong TimeWinnerStaringHotelQuartersBathroomToiletsVegasNice ThingsArrivalsHotel RoomsCasinos Author:Lewis Black
“I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase closed.” HumorFunnyHoursBehindsHalfDoorsLovelyHotelStayingSheetsDressingsRobesSuitcasesFluffy Author:Frank Carson
“One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!” HumorFunnyFeltWifeMy WifeHandleBagsHotelOne Time Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.” HumorFunnyBoysHotelTowels Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“In spite of a heavy disguise, a few days' growth on my face, dark glasses, a beret and one of William's jackets that fitted me not at all, as I emerged from a hotel in Lecce, a young fisherman pointed me out to his friends and said "Lavrenche Olivaire." It was not all that amazing; if you're not known in Italy, you're not known anywhere.” IfsSaidHumorFunnyFacesYoungGrowthDarkKnownGlassesHeavySpiteHotelItalianDisguiseJacketsFishermanDark Glasses Author:Laurence Olivier