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Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it's always "a big breakthrough" or a "radical departure." Why is is no one ever says that if a straight actor does comedy? Are they presuming comedy is easier?”

Ifs Doe Humor Bigs Actors Known Comedy Easier Radical Breakthrough Departure Comedic Presuming

Author:Carol Burnett

“Lawyers have been known to wrest from reluctant juries triumphant verdicts of acquittal for their clients, even when those clients, as often happens, were clearly and unmistakably innocent.”

Has Beens Humor Happens Law Known Lawyer Innocent Clients Jury Reluctant Triumphant Verdict Acquittal

Book:De Profundis: The Ballad of Reading Gaol and Other Writings

Source: De Profundis: The Ballad of Reading Gaol and Other Writings

“God's signs are not always the ones we look for. We learn in tragedy that his purposes are not always our own. Yet the prayers of private suffering, whether in our homes or in this great cathedral, are known and heard, and understood.”

Looks Home Humor Political Purpose Suffering Prayer Known Heard Understood Tragedy Cathedrals Political Humor

Author:George W. Bush

“For good or evil, a line has been passed in our political history; and something that we have known all our lives is dead. I will take only one example of it: our politicians can no longer be caricatured.”

Has Beens Humor Political Life Is Evil Politics Lines Known Our Lives Example Politician Political History

Author:Gilbert K. Chesterton

“Members rise from CMG (known sometimes in Whitehall as 'Call Me God') to KCMG ('Kindly Call Me God') to .. the GCMG ('God Calls Me God').”

Sometimes Humor Funny Known Members Call Me

Author:Anthony Sampson

“I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.”

Two Humor Funny Girl Known Break Cases Ugly Bags Over You Bagger

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.”

Ifs Ends Humor Funny Jesus Known Christianity Justin Calves

Author:Natasha Leggero

“Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.”

Men Made Humor Funny Powerful Known Tears Most Powerful Juice Goth Hairspray

Author:Noel Fielding

“I couldn't have invented crisps. ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. ... I invented apples. ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil.”

Men Want Humor Funny Known He Man Apples Soil Caps Crisps Pandas

Author:Noel Fielding

“In spite of a heavy disguise, a few days' growth on my face, dark glasses, a beret and one of William's jackets that fitted me not at all, as I emerged from a hotel in Lecce, a young fisherman pointed me out to his friends and said "Lavrenche Olivaire." It was not all that amazing; if you're not known in Italy, you're not known anywhere.”

Ifs Said Humor Funny Faces Young Growth Dark Known Glasses Heavy Spite Hotel Italian Disguise Jackets Fisherman Dark Glasses

Author:Laurence Olivier