“I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man!” MenI CanTwoHumorFunnyNineSmokeNecksCigarettePacks Author:Denis Leary
“I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey, how ya doin'? Knock-knock." "Read the sign, punk!"” LittlesHumorKidsFunnyJokesHeyNecksPunkLittle Kid Author:Mitch Hedberg
“So I phoned up the spiritual leader of tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I phoned dial a lama.” LongHumorFunnySpiritualTurnsLeaderNecksGoatsLamaTibetSpiritual Leader Author:Milton Jones
“I'm going to be cremated from the neck down. And at my funeral, when people are talking about me, they have to hold my head. And then at the end, they have to kick me into the audience and the audience has to keep me up for at least three hits or you have to start the whole service over. No cradling it - I want legit sets.” PeopleWantEndsWholeHumorFunnyThreeTalkingAudienceDown AndKicksNecksFuneralTalking About MeLegit Author:Daniel Tosh
“Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!” TwoHumorFunnyCryMomLuckShoesMy MomNecksCopGood LuckTasers Author:George Lopez