“I had a box of Ritz crackers, and on the back of the box, they had all these suggestions for what to put on top of the Ritz. Try it with cheese. Try it with peanut butter. Come on, man, they're crackers, that's why I got them. I like crackers! I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates!” MenTryingLittlesHumorFunnyBoxesPlatesCheeseSuggestionsPeanutsPeanut ButterCrackersRitz Author:Mitch Hedberg
“When the boys at school found out I had a potentially fatal peanut allergy, they used to hold me up against a wall and play Russian Roulette with a bag of Revels!” PlayHumorSchoolFunnyUsedFoundBoysWallBagsPeanutsHold MeAllergiesRouletteRussian Roulette Author:Milton Jones
“Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.” TwoHumorFunnyWalksTroubleBarsRoughPeanuts Author:Tommy Cooper
“We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting - they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral.” KnowsFeelsLittlesStillsHumorFunnyFoundParentSeriousBrotherEatingCaughtTinyBagsFuneralAirlinePeanutsAllergiesLittle BrotherMy Little Brother Author:Anthony Jeselnik