“I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.” BookHumorFunnyUsedReadingDirtyFilmmakerPornographyPrintedBananasObsceneFunny JokesBraille Author:Woody Allen
“We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal-federal cufflink.” KnowsWantKindHumorPoliticalOrderReadingTeachKnow HowTeacherObligationPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“My doctors told me this morning my blood pressure is down so low that I can start reading the newspapers.” I CanHumorReadingMorningBloodLowsDoctorsPressureNewspapersBlood Pressure Book:Ronald Reagan Source: Ronald Reagan
“Sex is Number 1 of my Top-10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I forgot the other eight.” HumorFunnyJoyReadingSexNumbersEightRetirementRetiringWild And FreeTop 10Number 2 Author:Ernie J Zelinski
“I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!"” HumorFunnyReadingLibraryStoresMagazinesConvenienceClerks Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine; a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.” DifferentStoriesHumorFunnyReadingMy OwnGaySittingMagazinesStationsBusMagicianOwn BusinessMinding My Own Business Author:Dave Attell
“What President of the Airline is doing is, he's urging everyone to give up their frequent flyer miles for sick kids... But as I was reading this, there were two empty seats next to me. Why can't sick kids sit there? If they're so concerned with sick kids, shouldn't they have like a pen of sick kids next to the gate?” IfsGivingTwoHumorKidsFunnyReadingNextPresidentGiving UpConcernedEmptySickMilesSeatsGatesPensAirlineFlyersEmpty SeatsSick Kids Author:David Cross
“My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.” PeopleKnowsMenHumorFunnyReadingLaughingDadMy DadTelephonesMake You Laugh Author:Frankie Boyle
“I'm proud to be part of a generation where reading is a 'look.'” LooksHumorFunnyReadingGenerationsProud Author:Marc Maron
“Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.” HumorKidsTodaySchoolFunnyRememberReadingSexTeacherHigh SchoolDiedOnlineSchool TeachersHigh School Teachers Author:Zach Galifianakis
“The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.” HumorFunnyReading Author:Natasha Leggero
“I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said 'I don't know'. I said 'I don't want your job'.” IfsKnowsWantDoeSaidBookHumorLightHappensFunnyJobsGuyTurnsReadingAsksLet MeSpeedThings HappenInterviewsTurn-onSpaceshipsSpeed Of LightJob InterviewHeadlights Author:Steven Wright