“I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."” WantGivingHumorFunnyWinningRichGunGive MeCuteDimples Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".” MenHumorFunnyRichNiceCarefulArroganceBe Careful Author:Rita Rudner
“Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check... is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"” MenHumorFunnyWhiteRichCarChecksWealthyWhite ManBlingShaq Author:Chris Rock
“So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America... but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's doing that to keep the Feds off her back.” IfsGivingPersonsHumorFunnyAmericaCausesBlackRichDestroyedMaking MoneyBrownFedsGet RichBeing Positive Author:Chris Rock
“I was fat! I was pustule-rich! I looked like a pink human grenade! When did I blossom into the irresistible little orchid that I am now? I don't know. Getting taller helps. It spreads out a bit.” KnowsHumansLittlesHelpingHumorFunnyBitsRichSpreadFatsIrresistibleGrenadeOrchids Author:Dylan Moran