“I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".” WayRealHumorFunnyLosesSixTwentiesVirginityMy BoyfriendNineteen Author:Sarah Silverman
“The Devil, too, sometimes steals human children; it is not infrequent for him to carry away infants within the first six weeks after birth, and to substitute in their place imps.” FirstsHumansChildrenSometimesHumorReligiousWeekBirthSixDevilStealingSubstitutesInfant Author:Martin Luther
“We know, on the authority of Moses, that longer than six thousand years the world did not exist.” KnowsWorldYearsHumorReligiousThousandAuthoritySixThousand YearsMoses Author:Martin Luther
“The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.” EnoughHumorFunnyLastsRememberNextNovelPaperSixLast TimeNext TimeSpainToiletsArcherToilet Paper Author:Bob Monkhouse
“And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.” TwoHumorFunnySixBallsFranceTitlesMinus Author:Bo Burnham
“Six Secrets to Being a Successful Humorist 1. Be scared, unhappy, and an outcast as a kid. 2. Drop out of high school. 3. Spend time alone. 4. Don't take a comedy course. 5. Read other humorists but don't worship them. 6. Don't get your hopes up.” HumorKidsSchoolFunnyCoursesSecretSuccessfulComedySixWorshipHigh SchoolScaredUnhappyEnd TimesSpend TimeMe AloneOutcastHumoristsAlone TimeHopes Up Author:Bruce McCall
“I went to the airport, I put my bag in the x-ray machine, I found out my bag has cancer. It only has six more months to hold stuff.” HumorFunnyFoundStuffMonthsSixMachinesCancerBagsRaysAirports Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I saw soda pop for $1.20 a six pack. That price messes with your head. You start thinking you're gonna sell soda pop. Suddenly I've got packs of pop with me. "Looking to buy some pop? 50 cents a can. It's not refrigerated because this is a half-assed commitment!"” ThinkingHumorFunnyHalfSawsSixCommitmentSellsPopsMessCentsPacksSodaSix PacksSoda Pop Author:Mitch Hedberg
“At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.” EndsPlayHumorFunnySixBaseballMontreal Author:Jerry Coleman
“Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.” IfsYearsFirstsHumorFunnyReadyBabyMonthsSixWork OutTattooSix MonthsHaving A Baby Author:Chelsea Handler
“The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.” MenHumorFunnyThreeMillionsCostSixDollarsMillion Dollars Author:Frank Carson
“Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.” PeopleIfsWantWellsHumorKidsFunnyThreeAsksEffectsDegreesSixMovedWorriedAsk MeGlobal WarmingPhoenixI Love My KidsLove My Kids Author:Dennis Miller
“I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.” BelieveMadeStillsHumorFunnySixMilesFixedLos AngelesLoserMy Sister Author:Mike Birbiglia