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Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.”

Humor Funny Sports Shoes Bowling Pork Chops

Book:Napalm & Silly Putty

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes.”

Humor Funny Sports Doctors Accidents One Time Herpes

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“People think I'm into sports because I'm a man. But I'm not into sports. I like Gatorade, but that's about as far as it goes. By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and play basketball to enjoy Gatorade. You can just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic!”

People Thinking Men Way Play Humor Funny Sports Enjoy Forget Basketball Thirsty Demographics Gatorade

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!”

Ifs Humor Funny Sports Feet Yeah Athlete

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.”

Men Humor Funny Together Sports Four Get Together

Author:Rita Rudner

“Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.”

“I only like sports that Bond villains played.”

Humor Funny Sports Villain

Author:Craig Ferguson