“They said, "You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people." And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work.” PeopleKnowsSaidMatterHumorSeemsPoliticalVoiceIssuesHearingRight ThingThey SaidPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“I saw a lady on TV, she was born without arms. That's sad, but then they said, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't'." That, to me, is even worse in a way. Not only is she missing arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's easy, Lola - you just take two words, put them together, take out the middle letters, put in a comma, and you raise it up!” KnowsWayDoeSaidTwoHumorFunnyTogetherEasyBornSimpleSawsMiddleMissingTvsArmsLettersRaisesThey SaidContractions Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said, "Screw it. Cut 'em up!"” ThinkingSaidShowsHumorBigsFunnyCompanyCuttingBallsIntentionTennisEmsThey SaidScrewsPotatoesInitialsRubberLaid BackTennis BallsPringles Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?"” SaidHumorFunnyFallFunHaving FunChairsThey SaidParanoidGetting High Author:Bill Cosby
“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."” MadeSaidHumorFunnyShoesCornersThey SaidAround The CornerTaiwan Author:Frank Carson
“When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."” WantSaidHumorKidsFunnyParentFiveThousandDollarsNotesThey SaidNo RespectKidnapped Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.” SaidEnoughHumorWantedFunnySexGayProofBarsThey Said Author:Rodney Dangerfield