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Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause ? you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.”

Men Humor Funny Young Girl Fun Gains Female Weight Hot Males Movie Flash Motorcycle Menopause Hot Flashes

Author:John Wayne

“As young Americans, you have an important responsibility, which is to become good citizens.”

Important Humor Young Political Responsibility Citizens Political Humor Good Citizen

Author:George W. Bush

“Together, we will reclaim America's schools, before ignorance and apathy claim more young lives.”

Humor School Together America Young Political Ignorance Claims Apathy Political Humor Young Life

Author:George W. Bush

“It's important for young men and women who look at the Nebraska champs to understand that quality of life is more than just blocking shots.”

Men Looks Important Humor Young Political Life Is Quality Shots Men And Women Block Young Man Quality Of Life Political Humor Nebraska

Author:George W. Bush

“The Devil...clutched hold of the miserable young man...and flew off with him through the ceiling, since which time nothing has been heard of him.”

Men Has Beens Humor Young Religious Heard Devil Miserable Young Man Ceilings Flew

Author:Martin Luther

“Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!”

Years May Humor Funny Young Victory Frank

Author:Jerry Coleman

“Right now Andy Larkin is pitching just like young Andy Larkin.”

Humor Funny Young Like You Right Now Baseball Pitching

Author:Jerry Coleman

“I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.”

Knows Humor Funny Young Used Baseball Used To Be

Author:Jerry Coleman

“Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!”

Humor Funny Remember Young Used Argument Remember When

Author:Chris Rock

“There's this whole post-modern, nuevo beatnik, retro-bohemian thing going on, you know what I mean? You walk into some coffee shops, and it feels like you're an ex-patriot in Paris in the 20s. You're like, 'Hey, isn't that a young Ernest Hemingway over there? Yeah, I think it is! Hey, let's go have a look and see what he's writing... It's a Gap application.'”

Thinking Knows Feels Writing Looks Mean Whole Humor Funny Young Walks Modern Like You Yeah Coffee Hey Posts Paris Shops Gaps Application Patriot Exes Bohemian Coffee Shop Retro Beatnik

Author:Marc Maron

“I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.”

People Men Real Humor Funny Young Careers Bitter Young Man Sour

Author:Steve Martin

“In spite of a heavy disguise, a few days' growth on my face, dark glasses, a beret and one of William's jackets that fitted me not at all, as I emerged from a hotel in Lecce, a young fisherman pointed me out to his friends and said "Lavrenche Olivaire." It was not all that amazing; if you're not known in Italy, you're not known anywhere.”

Ifs Said Humor Funny Faces Young Growth Dark Known Glasses Heavy Spite Hotel Italian Disguise Jackets Fisherman Dark Glasses

Author:Laurence Olivier