Best Lasts Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 27

“California officials want to contain a measles outbreak that originated in Disneyland last month. They are in luck because everyone who is exposed to it is still in line at Space Mountain.”

Want Stills Lasts Lines Space Months Mountain Luck California Officials Exposed Disneyland Outbreaks Measles

Author:Conan O'Brien

“At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in that speech. It was the part of the speech where he was just reading Craigslist personals.”

Made States Lasts Night Reading President Speech Unions Addresses President Obama Last Night Transgender Bisexual Craigslist

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Facebook revamped its search feature. Now you can search for any post that has ever appeared on your page. It's helpful if you want to waste time this year remembering exactly how you wasted time last year.”

Ifs Want Years Lasts Remember Waste Pages Posts Features Helpful Wasting Time Last Year Wasted Time

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Last night we had Bill Clinton, the former president. Security was as tight as Governor Christie's yoga pants.”

Lasts Night President Security Yoga Bills Clinton Former Pants Governors Last Night Christie Yoga Pants

Author:David Letterman

“This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to get me to eat kale.”

Trying Lasts Opportunity Kale

Author:David Letterman

“It's tax season. When I woke this morning and realized it was tax season, I said, My God, didn't we just pay taxes last year?”

Years Said Lasts Pay Morning Taxes Seasons Last Year

Author:David Letterman

“In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three or four days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?”

Lasts Three Hours Moral Four Kings Queens Dilemma Arabia Saudi Arabia Saudis Passed Away Moral Dilemma 48 Hours King Abdullah

Author:David Letterman

“When I stopped smoking cigars it was the biggest mistake I made in my life. So my resolution for 98 is Im going to start smoking cigars again. I gave them up about a year and a half ago, and I now realize that it may have been my one last fun, interesting thing to do.”

Years May Has Beens Made Lasts Fun Realizing Interesting Mistake Half Things To Do Smoking Resolution Interesting Things Cigar Biggest Mistake Smoking Cigars

Author:David Letterman

“This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone else.'”

Said Shows Lasts Morning Dad My Dad Tonight

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“In a two-hour interview last Friday, Bruce Jenner told ABC's Diane Sawyer, 'For all intents and purposes, I'm a woman.' At which point, Joe Biden ran in and started giving Bruce a shoulder rub.”

Giving Two Lasts Purpose Hours Shoulders Ran Interviews Friday Biden Sawyer Abc's

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Marco Rubio's presidential campaign has raised $40 million in the last week. When he heard that, Rubio said, 'Hey, any chance I can drop out of the race and just keep the 40 million?'”

Said I Can Lasts Chance Race Millions Heard Week Raised Campaigns Hey Presidential Marcos Presidential Campaign

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama unveiled a $4 trillion budget for 2016 that would increase taxes on the wealthy and spend more money on education. He also made a snowball and put it in the oven, just to see which would last longer, his budget or the snowball.”

Made Lasts President Taxes Increase Budgets Wealthy President Obama More Money Ovens Snowball

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“There are reports that leaders from ISIS and al-Qaida met at a farm house in Syria last week, and agreed to work together against their common enemies. That story again: Two radical terrorist groups managed to do what two American political parties cannot.”

“The big news is the midterm elections. Last night Republicans picked up a dozen seats in the House to give them their biggest majority since World War II. Or as they put it, 'Time to party like it's 1939!'”

World Giving War Bigs Lasts Night House Party Republican News Election Majority War Of The Worlds Seats World War Ii Dozen World War I Last Night Midterms Midterm Elections Big News

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Republican Scott Brown lost his bid for Senate in New Hampshire last night, two years after he was voted out as Senator in Massachusetts. When asked what he was planning to do next, he said, 'Are they still looking for a mayor in Toronto?'”

Years Said Stills Two Lasts Night Next Lost Republican Planning Brown Two Years Senate Senators Last Night Mayors Toronto Massachusetts Hampshire New Hampshire

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“It is a great day for the great state of Texas. The last person being tested for Ebola has come back clean. So Texas is now Ebola free. This was a big week for them. They're now free of Ebola - and Democrats.”

Persons States Bigs Lasts Week Clean Democrat Texas Tested Great Day Ebola

Author:Craig Ferguson

“American voters should understand that Congress will always find a way to spend every last dollar sent to Washington.”

Way Should Lasts Dollars Congress Voters American Voters

Author:Ron Paul

“Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction. The Government said it was entertainment. We compromised finally and made it a religious contribution.”

Years Made Said Government Lasts Religious Taxes Difficulty Entertainment Income Made It Contribution Last Year Income Tax Analysts Deductions

Author:Woody Allen

“The last player you want the ball to go to is the best player on the planet.”

Want Lasts Player Planets Balls Best Players

Author:Steven Gerrard

“Pain is only temporary, no matter how long it lasts.”

Long Matter Pain Lasts Temporary

Author:Ray Lewis

“To me Paul is a role model. He is the best midfielder I've seen in the last 15 or 20 years.”

Years Lasts Roles Models Role Models Scholes Midfielders

Author:Xavi

“Henry is a great man, I really like him. He is a great professional and I think he will be a great captain for them. He's been the outstanding player in the Premiership for the last three or four years”

Thinking Men Years Lasts Three Four Player Great Men Four Years Captains Outstanding

Author:Frank Lampard

“I've since come to understand the reason school lasts thirteen years. It takes that long to sufficiently break a child's will. It is not easy to disconnect children's wills, to disconnect them from their own experiences of the world in preparation for the lives of painful employment they will have to endure.”

World Years Children Long Reason School Lasts Easy Break Endure Painful Employment Preparation Thirteen

Book:A Language Older Than Words

Source: A Language Older Than Words

“Every so often in the last 20 years, Hollywood has called. And every time they've called, we've answered? because they have lots of money.”

Years Lasts Hollywood Lots Of Money

Author:Margo Timmins

“You take everything I've made the last 16 years. I'll take my freedom.”

Years Made Lasts

Author:Tina Turner

“Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!”

People Lasts Black Stage Republican Selling Presidential Black People Conventions Last Time

Author:Bill Maher

“Thus disbelief crept over me at a very slow rate, but at last was complete. The rate was so slow that I felt no distress, and have never since doubted even for a single second that my conclusion was correct.”

Lasts Felt Rate Conclusion Distress Disbelief Doubted

Book:The Works of Charles Darwin, Volume 29:

Source: The Works of Charles Darwin, Volume 29:

“Above all, we must understand that in leaving the toxic ways of the present we are healing ourselves, our places, and our planet. We rebel not as a last act of desperation but as a first act of creation.”

Way Firsts Lasts Healing Creation Planets Leaving Rebel Toxic Desperation Our Planet

Author:Sam Smith

“I live my life like everyday is my last.”

Lasts Everyday Living My Life I Live My Life

Author:Manny Pacquiao

“It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing-and the last man gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite - that is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.”

Source: Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)

“You go through the Sporting News for the last one hundred years, and you will find two things are always true. You never have enough pitching, and nobody ever made money.”

Years Made Two Enough Lasts News Hundred Two Things Pitching True You

Author:Donald Fehr

“I think it would be a tragic statement of the universe if Java was the last language that swept through.”

Ifs Thinking Would Be Lasts Universe Language Statements Tragic Java

Author:James Gosling

“A headline last year, after the death of Saddam Hussein, read: 'Tyrant is hanged'. My auntie looked at the newspaper and sobbed, 'Who's going to present "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"'”

Want Years Lasts Newspapers Tyrants Last Year Saddam Hussein Millionaire Headlines Auntie

Author:Steve Williams

“Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our children.”

Firsts Children Lasts Parent Our Lives Our Children Tendencies Embarrassed

Author:Ogden Nash

“Women are the last group anyone cares about in Hollywood.”

Care Lasts Groups Hollywood

Author:Meryl Streep

“Anytime you're with somebody, you become a reflection of that person. I believe the first five years of our relationship was me grooming her, getting her tough and getting her ready for all of this and how to deal with it. The last was just her being a strong Black woman who has her man's back.”

Men Years Firsts Believe Persons Lasts Strong I Believe Black Deals Five Ready Reflection Tough Five Years Our Relationship Black Women Grooming

Author:Snoop Dogg

“The total efforts of the last 20 years of climate policy has likely reduced global emissions by less than 1 percent, or about 250 million metric tons of carbon dioxide per year.”

Years Lasts Effort Millions Policy Percent Climate Carbon Emissions Carbon Dioxide Metrics Kyoto Kyoto Protocol

Author:Bjorn Lomborg

“Sometimes a week might go by when I don't think about the (perfect) game, but I don't remember when it happened last.”

Thinking Sometimes Might Lasts Remember Games Perfect Happened Week Remember When Yankees New York Yankees

Author:Don Larsen

“The Last Argument of Kings.”

Lasts Kings Argument Finals Artillery

Author:Louis XIV

“It was the first time I used that bat. A Yankee fan in Chicago gave it to me the last time we were there and said it would bring me luck. There's no brand name on it or anything. Maybe the guy made it himself. It had been in the bat rack, and I picked it up by mistake because it looked like the bat I had been using the last few days.”

Firsts Made Said Lasts Used Guy Names Mistake Fans First Time Luck Made It Brands Chicago Last Time Bats Yankees New York Yankees Racks Brand Names Yankee Fans

Author:Graig Nettles

“Occasionally I have come across a last patch of snow on top of a mountain in late May or June. There's something very powerful about finding snow in summer.”

May Lasts Nature Powerful Mountain Findings Late Summer Snow June Patches Very Powerful

Book:Midsummer Snowballs

Source: Midsummer Snowballs

“Hitting in a game is no different than hitting in a home run contest. It pisses me off to say Barry Bonds is the greatest hitter. He's playing in a wussy era. The game is soft. You never get thrown at today. Last thing a hitter has to worry about today is getting hit. The first thing Hank Aaron had to worry about is: Am I going to survive this at-bat because I'm black.”

Firsts Different Home Running Today Lasts Games Black Worry Eras Thrown Hitting Bats Contests Yankees New York Yankees Home Run

Author:Goose Gossage

“Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.”

Lasts Beautiful Successful Months Members Golf Forty Exclusive Golf Course Membership Beautiful Places Cypresses

Author:Bob Hope

“There are chords in the human heart- strange, varying strings- which are only struck by accident; which will remain mute and senseless to appeals the most passionate and earnest, and respond at last to the slightest casual touch.”

Inspirational Humans Heart Lasts Strange Passionate Accidents Appeals Strings Human Heart Earnest Chords Casual Mute

Book:The Old Curiosity Shop

Source: The Old Curiosity Shop

“In my last two years in high school, my face was pocked with pimples, I stammered when I spoke; if I made a mistake, I blushed furiously, and when nervous, as I was in the company of girls, I perspired freely.”

Ifs Life Years Made Two School Lasts Faces Success Girl Mistake Company High School Nervous Two Years Spokes Success In Life Made A Mistake I Made A Mistake Pimples

Author:Joseph L. Mankiewicz

“My love is founded on esteem, the only foundation that can make the passion last.”

Love Lasts Passion Love Is Foundation Esteem

Book:The Dispatches and Letters of Vice Admiral Lord Viscount Nelson

Source: The Dispatches and Letters of Vice Admiral Lord Viscount Nelson

“If I am building a mountain and stop before the last basketful of earth is placed on the summit, I have failed.”

Ifs Life Earth Lasts Building Mountain Summit

Author:Confucius

“Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki”

Inspirational Funny Lasts Gold Britain Entertaining Medal Athletics Gold Medals Bronze Bloopers Helsinki

Author:Nigel Starmer-Smith

“The Kenyans haven't done much in the last two games, in fact they haven't competed since 1972”

Inspirational Two Done Facts Funny Lasts Games Havens Entertaining Athletics Bloopers

Author:Brendan Foster

“To engage in war is always to pick a wild card. And war must always be a last resort, not a first choice. I truly must question the judgment of any president who can say that a massive unprovoked military attack on a nation which is over 50 percent children is ‘in the highest moral traditions of our country.'”

Firsts Children War Country Lasts Choices Nations Peace President Moral Military Judgment Highest Picks Percent Tradition Cards Our Country Fifty Massive Resorts

Author:Robert Byrd

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