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Okay Quotes

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Okay Quotes

“The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse."”

Humor Funny Mistake Okay Dentist Drills

Author:Bill Cosby

“Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.”

“It's weird the way "finger puppet" sounds okay as a noun... ladies.”

Way Humor Funny Sound Okay Fingers Puppets Nouns

Author:Demetri Martin

“"Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!"”

Ifs Men Want Years Wells Ends Humor Funny Guy Red Okay Paid Yeah Ass Meat Covered Fifteen This Guy Sweaters Fifteen Years Red Meat

Author:Denis Leary

“Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?”

Persons Humor Funny Guy Black White Okay Mates Primates Not Okay Black Guys

Author:Frankie Boyle

“I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"”

People Knows Two Humor Funny Lines Forget Fronts Standing Okay Machines Things To Do Seconds Cash Forget It Free Time

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I went into a butchers and I said, 'I'll have a pound of sausages. 'He said, 'I'm very sorry, sir, we only serve kilos in here. 'I said, 'Okay then I'll have a pound of kilos.'”

Said Humor Funny Okay Sorry Pounds Butchers Sausage

Author:Tommy Cooper

“I saw a guy wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid and rubbed his eyes, and the kid could see. But he wasn't used to the light, 'cause it was bright, and he walked into traffic and was killed instantly. Okay, the people that are laughing right now? I'm gonna call you guys half-full. Because you're focusing on the important part of the story: the bracelets are working.”

People Important Stories Humor Light Eye Kids Funny Used Guy Jesus Causes Half Laughing Saws Right Now Okay Blind His Eyes Traffic Armstrong Half Full Bracelet

Author:Daniel Tosh

“Just because a baby cries, I discovered, doesn't mean there's always something wrong. Sometimes babies wake up for no real reason. They just want to check if they're doing it right. "This is Sleeping, right?" "Exactly." "I just lie here?" "That's right." "Okay." Then back to sleep they go.”

Ifs Want Mean Children Real Sometimes Reason Humor Funny Lying Sleep Cry Baby Okay Wake Up Checks

Author:Paul Reiser

“If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you see okay?”

Ifs Funny Humorous Crosses Okay Dyslexia

Author:John Mendoza

“I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?”

Humor Funny My Own Drug Okay Alcohol Ass Cracks

Author:Denis Leary

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.”

Source: Starting from Scratch: A Different Kind of Writers' Manual