Best Snarky Humor Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

Source: Not Here to Be Liked

“Yeah, kid. I almost got blown up. It was great.”

Sarcasm Snarky Humor Snarky Remarks Sarcastic Characters

Source: Then Comes a Drifter

“Elinor had some difficulty here to refrain from observing, that she thought Fanny might have borne with composure, an acquisition of wealth to her brother, by which neither she nor her child could be possibly impoverished.”

Wealth Snarky Humor

Book:Sense and Sensibility

Source: Sense and Sensibility

“He bowed. "You hear correctly." His gaze didn't ;leave her, the examination making her skin crawl. He shook his head. "Astonishing. I never imagined I'd meet a real Nahid." With a curse, Zaynab followed. "If I've not said it lately, I think I hate you." "You know, for a magical being, you have a terrible sense of adventure," Nahri replied, touching one of the eddies of paint, a blue swell that looked like a wave.”

Snarky Humor Nahri Zaynab

Book:The Kingdom of Copper

Source: The Kingdom of Copper

“Besides so long as a man has not been actually killed he is our fellow-creature, though perhaps a very unpleasant one.”

Snarky Humor

Book:Erewhon

Source: Erewhon

“The end is near!" the man shouted again. "Is there still time for hot chocolate?" Riley asked. The End Times Guy blinked. "Ah, maybe; I don't know." "Oh, good," she said. "I'd hate to take on Hell without fueling up.”

Snarky Humor

Book:Forbidden

Source: Forbidden

“I wasn’t giving this guy an inch. He disturbed me. I didn’t like things that disturbed me, which is why I was licensed to shoot most things that disturbed me. Unfortunately, humans were not on the list and sexual attraction was not considered a valid reason to shoot someone.”

Sexual Attraction Snarky Humor

Book:Spellbound Desire

Source: Spellbound Desire

“I know I'm asking a lot. You'd need to start talking, stop growling, and bathe. No offense meant, but you look like a crazy man the way you are.”

Snarky Humor

Book:Hope(less)

Source: Hope(less)

“Tech made all things possible, and therefore mandatory. Not to mention the fact that carrying around all this smartphone in your purse or pocket had become such a fantastic drag. Cranial implant was so much easier. Now they could be in touch with the hive 24/7 and have their hands free for whatever. Their cars drove them everywhere, too. Also left them free to, you know, do whatever.”

Humor Science Technology Sarcasm Modern Life Snarky Humor Science Fiction Comedy

Book:Immortal Life: A Soon To Be True Story

Source: Immortal Life: A Soon To Be True Story

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you cared,” he drawled, leaning against one of the pillars. “Consider me flattered, Kanoska.”

Romance Shifter Romance Banter Shifters Snark Snarky Humor Wolf Shifter Snarky Banter

Book:Forged Alliances

Source: Forged Alliances

“Well, Dax had wanted distraction, but he didn’t think meeting the infamous Tribe with a raging hard-on could be considered putting his best foot forward.”

Shifter Romance Shifters Wolf Shifters Tribe Snark Snarky Humor

Book:Forged Alliances

Source: Forged Alliances

“It seems,” I said to my ex-fiancé in as calm a tone as I could muster, “you may have a chance to discuss non-human methods of weather prediction after all...because I’m reasonably certain that we are standing on a troll.”

Snarky Humor

Book:Snowspelled

Source: Snowspelled

“In what universe would it be okay for someone to take a redneck dip in a hotel fountain?”

Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Snarky Humor Funny Concierge Services

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“Condoms are not like a glove; one size does not fit all. Bring your own.”

Funny Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“By the way, it was me. I farted. You're welcome. Get used to it. I'll do it again before you check out.”

Funny Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“New Orleans restaurants are so good, you'll want to slap your momma, you neighbor's momma, and your neighbor's momma's momma.”

Funny Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“I have no clue what she asked for. It sounded like a code during wartime, where coffee was the solider and she was the five-star general.”

Funny Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“It's my job to help the guests, even if I think they'll turn out to be a super-snotty, dripping little twat of distaste and ill repute.”

Funny Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“I'm impressed. I've never seen a piece of shit read before. Would you like an award?”

Funny Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“I speak New Orleans sassy black woman dialect. I love it.”

Funny Memoir Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“We, as a society, will never grow into a better world unless we change our outdated views of the world. We should not adopt and carry forward the way people have been mistreated in the past, but instead pave a way to love and acceptance, or the future generation will fail.”

Funny Memoir Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“Lady Beverly: What kind of bullshit answer is that, kiddo? I was born and raised here. I may be older that dirt now, but I was a street rat back in my day.”

Funny Women Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“Everyone knows you drink white wine with ass. I'm joking; don't drink any wine with ass. It doesn't pair well.”

Funny Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service Gross Misbehavior

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“I don't want your hanging meat parasailing toward me. Please, double bubble-wrap it, and put it in storage already.”

Funny Lgbtq Shocking Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service Gross Misbehavior

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“My safe word is pineapple.”

Funny Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“Frank: Dude. Bro. I'm not wearing underwear. Is it nippley outside?”

Funny Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Bromance Dude Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“Many people have asked me, "Why title your book Creating a Concierge?" There is no correct answer. Call it creation, evolution, or chance, but ultimately it's what felt right.”

Love Funny Memoir Lgbtq Hospitality Comedy Humor Southern Writers Snarky Humor Concierge Service

Book:Creating a Concierge

Source: Creating a Concierge

“Become an editor,' they said. 'You love books.' they said. I do love books; I just hate the people who write them.”

Snarky Humor

Book:Recipe for a Good Life

Source: Recipe for a Good Life

“She glared at me as if I’d accused her of something, which I only occasionally did and never to her face.”

Young Adult Teen Fiction Attitude Quotes Ya Fiction Sassy Heroine Snarky Humor Snarky Remarks

Book:Mortal Tether

Source: Mortal Tether

“I squeaked and squirmed to get loose, but I was born with the upper body strength of a hamster.”

Funny Teen Fiction Attitude Quotes Strength Quotes Weakness Quotes Snarky Humor Snarky Viewpoint Character

Book:Mortal Tether

Source: Mortal Tether

“If she did bitch-slap me, I'd bitch-slap her right back, but I resented the word bitch and all its familiar forms, as it was degrading to women and dogs everywhere.”

Humor Comedy Feminist Zombies Zombie Apocalypse Snarky Humor Snarky

Book:Vegan Teenage Zombie Huntress

Source: Vegan Teenage Zombie Huntress

“He was my age and in my imagination he was a fireman, not the kind that actually fights fires but the kind who travels the country shirtless posing for calendars.”

Humorous Quotes Fireman Snark Snarky Humor Firemen Snort

Book:Phone Kitten

Source: Phone Kitten

“Clearing his throat, he rumbled, "Miss Darling, a word if you please." "Sesquipedalian," she said, keeping her back towards him. The strange response momentarily stunned him. "Pardon?" Turning around, she leaned against the counter and grinned at him, “You asked for a word and I gave you one. It means ‘many syllabled’ and while it’s exceedingly pretentious it is a lot of fun to say. Sesquipedalian; it tangles up the tongue and then just falls right off. “Or perhaps you would prefer a different word?” she continued guilelessly and he was completely charmed by her. “Tittle, which is the little dot over i’s and j’s; or Ornithopter, an aircraft that flies by flapping its wings; Tuatha De Danan Lora or Expector Patronum?” “Now you’re just making words up,” he grinned, and realized he had missed talking to her.”

Snarky Humor

Book:Siren Song

Source: Siren Song