The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
A source page for quotes linked to Ambrose Bierce.
“Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.”
“Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”
“The hardest tumble a man can take is to fall over his own bluff.”
“Achievement is the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.”
“Bride, n. - A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.”
“ALLEGORY, n. A metaphor in three volumes and a tiger.”
“ALCOHOL, n. (Arabic al kohl, a paint for the eyes.) The essential principle of all.”
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
“ADAMANT, n. A mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.”
“ABOMINABLE, adj. The quality of another's opinions.”
“Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.”
“IRRELIGION, n. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.”
“Beware of the compound adjective, beloved of the tyro and the 'poetess'.”
“SAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited.”
“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”
“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”
“Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something he can see and feel.”
“Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.”
“APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider”
“ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.”