“My father wanted me to play pro football, and he didn't like the fact that I'd left school. And he said, "It takes a man to play football. And any fool can go up on the stage and make an ass of himself.” MenSaidPlayFactsWantedSchoolFatherLeftStageFootballFoolAssPro Football Author:Bill Cosby
“It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I.... Like all other children, my five have one great talent: they are gifted beggars. Not one of them ever ran into the room, looked up at me, and said, "I'm really happy that you're my father, and as a tangible token of my appreciation, here's a dollar.” ChildrenSaidFatherNamesDifferencesRoomsFiveTalentDadDollarsAppreciationRanGiftedTangibleBeggarReally HappyTokensGreat Talent Author:Bill Cosby
“"And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that.” SaidHumorFunnyRememberMotherWorstSickTired Author:Bill Cosby
“Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?"” SaidHumorFunnyFallFunHaving FunChairsThey SaidParanoidGetting High Author:Bill Cosby
“We spoke to God about the children, and we were afraid to ask God for specific things. We thought that it might be too much. So we said to God 'Please give us a healthy child' and left it at that, not knowing that God is a generous God, but also has a sense of humor. And if you leave that much open for God, some wonderful jokes are going to come about.” IfsGivingChildrenSaidMightAsksLeftKnowingToo MuchWonderfulPleaseHealthyJokesGenerousSpokesSense Of HumorNot KnowingHealthy Children Author:Bill Cosby
“Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.” IfsFirstsSaidHomeChallengesChangedColorMaterialsTomorrowI RealizedComedianCrutchesYou Changed Author:Bill Cosby
“The beautiful thing about older people is their ability to cut the fat off of conversation. When they talk, they don't go on forever and ever. They say what they have to say, and that's it. That was my grand dad. Some of the things he said stunned me, but his words were logical. I'll never forget them.” PeopleSaidBeautifulAbilityForgetForeverCuttingGoes OnDadConversationFatsLogicalNever ForgetBeautiful ThingsStunnedOlder People Author:Bill Cosby
“My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying I love you. His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, We're going here, we're going there, he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair.” WayBelieveSaidTroubleLove YouListeningKissingFairsTreatedHugHis LoveGrandpaSay I Love YouDoing Right Author:Bill Cosby
“God has a sense of humor though and he must see funny things in us. He must also have some love. We're still here and there are still great things that go on. There are great doctors who discover how to separate twins and how to put together a human being to walk again after it's said he won't. Those are all there as signs.” HumansSaidStillsTogetherHuman BeingsWalksGoes OnDoctorsGreat ThingsSense Of HumorTwinsHere And ThereFunny ThingsDoctor WhoGod Has A Sense Of Humor Author:Bill Cosby
“When my son was murdered people asked me how I felt about God and what had happened to my son. I said "no, you can't go there. You have to understand that there is a devil and he works 24/7. Whoever murdered our son was with the devil."” PeopleSaidFeltHappenedSonDevilMy Son Author:Bill Cosby
“My latest blood test said my cholesterol was very high and my doctor recommended some medicine for it. I said "no" to his recommendation and he said "what are you going to do?" I said I ate my way into this and I'm going to eat my way out of it.” WaySaidBloodDoctorsTestsMedicineMy WayRecommendationsCholesterolBlood Tests Author:Bill Cosby
“I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty,” I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: “It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.” IfsSaidMomentsHalfFiguresDependsEmptyDrinkingGlassesGrandmotherSplitsMy GrandmotherPouringHesitationHalf FullHalf Empty Author:Bill Cosby
“Anecdote: In a controversial way, Comedian and actor Bill Cosby sought to teach his son the pain of being lied to. Convinced his son had been dishonest regarding an issue, Cosby promised that if he told him the truth, he would not hit him. When his son did confess, Cosby did hit him. Seeing his son's shock and hurt, Cosby said he hoped this lesson had deepened his understanding of the anguish generated by a sense betrayal.” IfsWaySaidPainLyingActorsUnderstandingHurtTeachIssuesSeeingSonLessonsBillsBetrayalConvincedComedianShockAnguishLiedDishonestyControversialAnecdotesBeing Lied Author:Bill Cosby
“Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.” GivingChildrenSaidReasonDiesHouseFiveComedyPoetFameAfrican AmericanImmortalityImmortalBefore I Die Author:Bill Cosby
“I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?"” IfsSaidHumorFunnyGuyComedyWonderfulPersonalityWhat IfCocaine Author:Bill Cosby
“Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).” ChildrenSaidMovingCoursesFatherGrowing UpGrowingAuthorityParentingHardestMoving Away Author:Bill Cosby
“My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you.” KnowsWorldYearsLooksSaidI CanHumorFunnyFatherDifferencesThis WorldLike YouSevenOur RelationshipSeven Years Author:Bill Cosby
“After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't."” FirstsSaidGodHumorEarthFunnyHeavenAnimalOceanCreatingHumorousKingdomsAdamAdam And EveAnimal Kingdom Book:Bill Cosby on Fatherhood Source: Bill Cosby on Fatherhood
