“Former president Bill Clinton was elected on this very day in 1992. Clinton went on to leave quite a mark in the oval office... You mean the one on the sofa?” MeanPresidentOfficeMarkBillsClintonFormerSofasOvalPresident Bill Clinton Author:Craig Ferguson
“Jeb Bush announced today on the Internet that he may run for president. The next presidential election could be Bush vs. Clinton. It will be like 1992 all over again except I won't be in rehab.” MayRunningTodayNextPresidentInternetElectionClintonPresidentialRehabPresidential Election Author:Craig Ferguson
“Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'” FeelsSaidTodayHousePresidentWhiteMetsYeahWhite HousePresident Obama Author:Craig Ferguson
“The meeting with Prince William took place at the White House because Prince William wanted to see where the president spent his days, but the golf course was covered in snow.” WantedCoursesHousePresidentWhiteMeetingsGolfSnowWhite HouseCoveredGolf Course Author:Craig Ferguson
“Democrats in state legislatures are at their lowest level since the 1920s. President Obama has a can't-miss strategy to save the party in 2016. He's leaving.” StatesPresidentLevelsPartyMissingStrategyDemocratLeavingPresident ObamaLowestLegislatureState Legislatures Author:Craig Ferguson
“Another one of President Barack Obama's nominees is having tax issues, which proves one thing: The Democrats like raising the taxes, but they hate paying them.” HatePresidentIssuesOne ThingProveTaxesDemocratBarackPresident Barack Obama Author:Craig Ferguson
“Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'” WorldHas BeensPresidentNewsFellowsStationsPresident ObamaBin LadenSave The WorldOsama Bin Laden Author:Craig Ferguson
“Former president George W. Bush released his new memoir. By the way, 'memoir' is just a fancy word for 'a bunch of stuff that happened to me.” WayStuffPresidentHappenedBunchMemoirFormerFancyPresident George W Bush Author:Craig Ferguson
“The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama.” WayWaitingPresidentTalkingMinutesBirdPresident ObamaVirusesFluFadedContagionBird Flu Author:Craig Ferguson
“President Obama said that we rely too much on gadgets. He gave a passionate speech about technology, but he had to stop when the teleprompter broke.” SaidPresidentTechnologyToo MuchSpeechPassionateBrokeRelyPresident ObamaGadgets Author:Craig Ferguson
“My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other people how to live, powerful, visible creatures and ... go at them.” PeopleJobsPresidentPowerfulPoliticianCreaturesVisiblePompous Author:Craig Ferguson
“President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.” PresidentBirthElectionSurpriseCampaignsFakeOfficialsPresident ObamaWebsitePrintedCertificatesPaperworkBirth Certificate Author:Craig Ferguson
“There is a new bill in the Senate that is upsetting a lot of people. This bill would give the President the power to shut off the Internet. Al Gore is strongly opposed to it. Not because he invented the Internet. Because he did. But because he just signed up for Match.com.” PeopleGivingPresidentInternetBillsUpsetAlsSenateGore Author:Craig Ferguson
“Betty White met with President Obama at the White House. President Obama invited Betty personally because she's great with animals. And the president's still having a tough time house-training Joe Biden.” StillsHousePresidentWhiteAnimalMetsTrainingToughWhite HousePresident ObamaInvitedTough TimesBiden Author:Craig Ferguson
