“Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'” WorldHas BeensPresidentNewsFellowsStationsPresident ObamaBin LadenSave The WorldOsama Bin Laden Author:Craig Ferguson
“Italian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man can walk across Italy and retain his celibacy, he's got what it takes to be a priest - or an interior decorator.” IfsMenWorldBeautifulWalksPriestsItalianInteriorsCelibacyDecorators Author:Craig Ferguson
“World War Z is out today. The big zombie movie. The trailer looks scary. You see hordes of bodies climbing and rolling over each other. It's like Black Friday at the mall.” WorldLooksWarBodyBigsTodayBlackScaryWar Of The WorldsClimbingRollingFridayZombieMallsTrailersHordeZombie MovieBlack FridayWorld War ZRolling Over Author:Craig Ferguson
“Sarah Palin is speaking out about the oil spill. She said, I'm not kidding, we should ask the Dutch for help with the spill because the Dutch have the world's best dikes. So let me get this straight. It is OK to cover lesbians in oil but you just can't let them get married.” WorldShouldSaidHelpingAsksMarriedLet MeOilSpillsDutchPalinSpeaking OutOil Spill Author:Craig Ferguson
“It never occurred to them that God may have provided the world with a vast array of very brainy medical types for the very reason of solving problems such as theirs. However, there is one thing that the medical profession cannot do and that is save people from being idiots.” PeopleWorldMayReasonProblemOne ThingTypeProfessionMedicalIdiotProblem SolvingMedical Profession Book:Between the Bridge and the River: A Novel Source: Between the Bridge and the River: A Novel
“People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay teeth.” PeopleWorldTryingAcceptingAcceptanceGayDollarsTeeth Author:Craig Ferguson
“There are times when you see the news, and you go, "How the hell am I meant to do anything tonight?" I'm not good at compartmentalizing myself and not being affected by the world around me, so it was very difficult for me when atrocious news stories would pop up. And I would think, "How the hell am I supposed to talk to the skeleton about the horse tonight?"” ThinkingWorldDifficultHellHorse Author:Craig Ferguson
“He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't.” KnowsWorldMightAgeSuccessNextFailingHeardSonReadyFailureGloryShotsRoundsMy SonDisgraceThe Next One Author:Craig Ferguson
“The world can be such a fright, but it belongs to us tonight.” WorldFearTonightFright Author:Craig Ferguson
“Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.” WorldBookShapesRanBottlesWhiskey Author:Craig Ferguson
“For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you the world. Have fun blowing it up.” WorldGivingYearsFunCardsHaving FunGlobesMy BirthdayAtlasBirthday CardBlowing It Author:Craig Ferguson
“CBS announced they're canceling As The World Turns. Don't worry though, if you're addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf.” IfsWorldStillsTurnsSexWatchesWorryGolfPlotIntrigueTwisted Author:Craig Ferguson
“I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think.” IfsThinkingWorldTryingKindWarBlackWar Of The WorldsWorld War ISecond World War Author:Craig Ferguson
“I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.” KnowsWorldCultureAmountCriticalPlaces In The WorldScots Author:Craig Ferguson
“I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.” WorldChildrenWholeRunningWhole LifeBarsAround The WorldRevelations Author:Craig Ferguson
