“We used to moralize; today we normalize, and performance anxiety is the secular version of our old religious guilt.” TodayUsedReligiousAnxietyPerformancesGuiltVersionsSecularPerformance Anxiety Author:Esther Perel
“Most affairs do die a natural death. Today, you look at your partner's phone to find out the weather, and you find out about a lover. It has never been as easy to cheat as it is today, and it has never been harder to keep a secret.” TodayEasyNaturalSecretLoversAffairCheat Author:Esther Perel
“Even a good marriage leaves people with longings for certain things their marriage will never be. So, do they accept that, make compromises, and say, "You can't have everything in life," which is what we always did? Or do they say, "I deserve more. I want to experience that thing and, you know, I have fifty more years to live than I used to." It's not necessarily that we have more desires today, but we do feel more entitled to pursue them. We live in this "right to happiness" culture, and yes, we do live half a century longer than we used to.” PeopleTodayDesireCultureAcceptingDeserveLongingCompromiseGood Marriage Author:Esther Perel
“Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same time, we expect our committed relationships to be romantic as well as emotionally and sexually fulfilling. Is it any wonder that so many relationships crumble under the weight of it all?” WellsPersonsTodayTurnsWonderWeightCommittedVillageFulfillingContinuitySexuallyGroundingCommitted Relationship Author:Esther Perel
“Today, our sexuality is an open-ended personal project; it is part of who we are, an identity, and no longer merely something we do.” TodayIdentityProjectsSexualityWho We Are Book:Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Source: Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
“But when we reduce sex to a function, we also invoke the idea of dysfunction. We are no longer talking about the art of sex; rather, we are talking about the mechanics of sex. Science has replaced religion as the authority; and science is a more formidable arbiter. Medicine knows how to scare even those who scoff at religion. Compared with a diagnosis, what's a mere sin? We used to moralize; today we normalize, and performance anxiety is the secular version of our old religious guilt.” KnowsArtIdeasTodayUsedSexReligiousSinTalkingKnow HowAuthorityAnxietyPerformancesFunctionMedicineGuiltMereVersionsScareSecularReplacedMechanicDiagnosisFormidableInvokeDysfunctionArbiterPerformance Anxiety Author:Esther Perel
