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Kevin Hearne

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Famous Kevin Hearne Quotes

“Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer. Your fly has been open all this time, by the way, and Granuaile hasn't said a thing. Thanks, buddy, I said silently as I tried to surreptitiously zip up my jeans. See? I got your back AND your front. I deserve a treat.”

KnowsWayHas BeensSaidAnswersFrontsDeserveTreatsThanksJeansBuddyZipsGot Your Back
Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted
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“Aw, no. You’re taking us to that vegetarian place, aren’t you? It’s a coffee place. You can’t just automatically classify anything that isn’t a steak house as vegetarian. Yes, I can. This is America. You said Americans assert their own opinions as if they were facts and dismiss inconvenient facts as mere opinions.”

IfsSaidI CanFactsAmericaHouseOpinionMereCoffeeVegetarianSteakInconvenientYes I CanSteak House
Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles Starter Pack 3-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered
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“Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has changed their lives. Most people today will grant that fire and the wheel are the big two. After that, any attempts to rank the greatest ideas of all time are going to draw lots of argument. You’ll have zealots pimping this god or that on the one hand, scientists pimping Darwin on the other, and then practical people pointing at written language and saying, look, fellas, the reason those ideas have gone viral is because someone figured out how to write them down.”

PeopleKnowsWritingLooksSaidTwoIdeasReasonHandsBigsTodayLanguageGoneFireWrittenChangedDrawsArgumentScientistPracticalsAll TimeWheelsGrantsGood IdeasPointingFellasViralZealotWritten LanguagePimping
Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted
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“Oh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!” I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring at me. “What?” I asked. Leif shook a finger and said in a low, menacing tone, “If you tell me I have to talk like an illiterate halfwit to fit into this society, I will punch you.” “And I’ll pull out your goatee,” Gunnar added. “Lolcat iz new happeh wai 2 talk,” I explained to them. “U doan haz 2 be kitteh 2 speek it.”

IfsSaidFoundLaughingShareFitMajorsLowsFingersToneCompanionIlliterateThis Society
Book:Hammered (with bonus short story): The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Three
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“Wooo!’ he said, slamming his shot glass down and coughing a bit. ‘That’s good stuff.’ I agreed heartily. ‘Shall we do another one?’ I asked. ‘Oh no,’ Jesus said quietly, his eyes growing round. ‘This is one of those situations where I have to stop and ask myself, what would I do?”

SaidEyeAsksJesusStuffBitsSituationGrowingShotsDown AndRoundsGlassesHis EyesCoughingShot Glass
Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted
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“Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She didn't want to get her picture taken. "Aughh!" she said miserably, looking in the vanity mirror in the truck of the cab and fingering a wavy curl near her temple. "This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. You know what we look like? A couple of emo douche bags." "Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name." [That's brilliant! It's already the unofficial name of more bands than I can count.]”

KnowsWantWellsLooksSaidI CanWould BeNamesSidesResultsTakenHairCoupleBandMirrorsAccidentsBrilliantVanityTemplesBagsBathroomTruckCurlsCabRavensGothBright SideEmoPicture TakenDouchesDouche Bag
Author:Kevin Hearne
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“The widow’s eyebrows raised. “Ye’ve got all these nasty pooches to run around with and ye still might die?” “I’m going to go fight with a god, some demons, and a coven of witches who all want to kill me,” I said, “so it’s a distinct possibility.” “Are y’goin’ t’kill ’em back?” “I’d certainly like to.” “Attaboy,” the widow chuckled. “Off y’go, then. Kill every last one o’ the bastards and call me in the mornin’.”

WantSaidStillsMightRunningLastsDiesFightingPossibilityRaisedDemonEmsCall MeWitchNastyKill MeEyebrowsWidows
Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted
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“For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and say to them in all sincerity, "You build and do not destroy; you sow goodwill and reap it; smiles bloom in the wake of your passing, and I will keep your kindness in trust and share it as occasion arises, so that your life will be a quenching draught of calm in a land of drought and stress." Too often I never get to say that when it should be said. Instead, I leave them with the equivalent of a "Later, dude!" only to discover there would be no later for us.”

PeopleShouldLongSaidWould BeOpportunityWishKindnessShareLandRegretStressCalmArisePassingPassingsOccasionsSincerityGood PeopleFarewellLong LifeReapGoodwillDroughtMissed OpportunityDraught
Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted
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“Thank you, Morrigan. This is very helpful," I said, already feeling myself warming up. "And delivered to me entirely without pain." The Morrigan sucker-punched me hard in the face, sending me sprawling in the snow and breaking my nose. "You spoke too soon and with entirely too much sarcasm," she said. "We could have parted with a kiss. Remember that.”

SaidHardFeelingsPainRememberFacesToo MuchKissingSnowNosesHelpfulSarcasmSpokesSuckerWithout PainWarming Up
Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted
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“That is a noble idea, though I think it far to generous," Jupiter said. "Once a decade should be sufficient." "I would rather be too generous than not in such cases." "As you wish." [One day, Atticus was amazed to discover that when Jupiter said, "As you wish," what he really meant was "I love you."]”

ThinkingShouldSaidIdeasWishCasesLove YouOne DayNobleDecadesGenerousSufficientAmazedJupiter
Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted
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