“While his parents never stopped being enigmas to him, Estefania's physicality felt graspable to him, a promise that would not withdraw itself. In Estefania, he saw a world to be painted.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“Estefania knew how to read an artist and their visions; her body would guide them through the melancholia and loneliness of a female body. Its unclaimed ecstasy.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“She didn't know how to react to his non-sexualisation of her, and as she stared at his silent face, she recognized a familiar pain, a sense of not being there.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“The mother was convinced that the purchase of this piece of furniture would facilitate the bond she so hungered for with Gabriela, although she hated the unnerving history associated with the paravent. But, she thought, what could it possibly do to a child?”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“You don't spill your lies on the pages that I write on.”
Source: Daughterbody II: a self-reclamation through poetry
“he wants my body to function
not my soul to live”
Source: you ate popcorn in my house of grief: transgenerational poetry
“he uses my body
to make his dream come true”
Source: you ate popcorn in my house of grief: transgenerational poetry
“not enough experience
I have so much e x p e r i e n c e
it would make you choke”
Source: you ate popcorn in my house of grief: transgenerational poetry
“it’s not a free choice when you depend on it”
Source: you ate popcorn in my house of grief: transgenerational poetry
“ich wachse mit einem Frauenbild auf
das mir die Sprache verschlägt”
Source: Zerreißprobe Menschwerdung: dringende Gedichte
“dein Tod hat sich im Keller versteckt
dein Körper steht alleine im Garten
ziehst dich zurück, hättest gerne überlebt
starrst in uns hinein, wie alles leise zerfällt
und ich laut zu dir spreche im Dunkeln
als hättest du mir gut getan”
Source: Zerreißprobe Menschwerdung: dringende Gedichte
“sie hört auf sich zu waschen
damit er sich nicht mehr in ihr verflüssigt”
Source: Zerreißprobe Menschwerdung: dringende Gedichte
“die Kleider im Schrank
die Häute an der Tapete
wenn sie summt
macht sie mir Angst”
Source: Zerreißprobe Menschwerdung: dringende Gedichte
“hinter den Augen ist alles tot
wenn ich jetzt schlucke reißt er mich in Stücke”
Source: Zerreißprobe Menschwerdung: dringende Gedichte
“what they think about the most
never makes it out of their mouths”
Source: you ate popcorn in my house of grief: transgenerational poetry
“I was taught silence in all the wrong places.”
Source: Daughterbody II: a self-reclamation through poetry
“Revolted and offended, this child was fighting her mother in her head and did not even blink.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“They had been the reason for the receding love between her and her husband. She claimed a substitution for her sacrifices, an amendment of her situation.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“Gabriela's pupils were immoveable tempests, dark tunnels spiraling down into invisibility, terrifying the mother. They sat still amongst the greenish-brown puddle and attacked Estefania in total muteness.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“she talks about her soul
but her eyes are blank”
Source: you ate popcorn in my house of grief: transgenerational poetry
“denn die Luft aus deinem Mund
versteinerte mir den Magen”
Source: Zerreißprobe Menschwerdung: dringende Gedichte
“Selbstmord ist ein Erbstück das sich an mir beteiligt”
Source: Zerreißprobe Menschwerdung: dringende Gedichte
“ich wachse mit einem Männerbild auf
das mir den Hals umdreht”
Source: Zerreißprobe Menschwerdung: dringende Gedichte
“He would not live the life of his daughter by falling apart and not giving her anything but anticipated grief and collateral heartache. He wanted to imprint paternal love on her body. Maybe she would be strong and regenerated enough to stay, and maybe his intense affection would work its magic.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“That was when Estefania, who had made her pain the world’s pain, stood up, her knees dirty, shaking, her tights torn. She took a distanced look around and then she started tearing her tights even more. She kicked her expensive shoes through the wind, then she ripped off her dress, screaming as if it were burning, her second skin, her role as an actress, her one-woman show, as if she herself were on fire, as if her clothes were drenched in acid and abandoned love.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“This would be the room of new beginnings, the room of madness, of death, where everything needed to be cleaned and fixed for the next couple to flourish.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“They burn books now, mama.The monsters burn fucking books now, mama. They have eyes full of disappointing madness. Their tongues taste like fulvous indoctrination. They teach us. Teach us sadism, hatred, lust to kill, conformity. What do you see when you look at me? Daddy?”
Source: Seraphic Addiction
“I was born with my fists out
Against you.”
Source: Daughterbody I: a self-exorcism through poetry
“He would have died rather quickly to not lose track of his wife in the afterlife.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“Everything his parents repressed, Severin contracted and kept, collected almost, with the ambition to revive it when needed.”
Source: Within Paravent Walls
“conditioned me to split my voice in two
one to keep to myself
the other to appease you”
Source: coming here to die: polyphonic grief poetry
“you violated the body in such a way
that only the soul would know”
Source: coming here to die: polyphonic grief poetry
“my mother’s grief is something that lives
in the nature of all things”
Source: coming here to die: polyphonic grief poetry
“and through your touch
I lived in your past”
Source: coming here to die: polyphonic grief poetry
“we built our own worlds
for as long as they lasted”
Source: symbiosis : a sister's psychogeographical grief
“your death is very much alive in my body”
Source: symbiosis : a sister's psychogeographical grief
“fire may have burned the book
but not the story incandescent”
Source: symbiosis : a sister's psychogeographical grief
“Selbstmord hatte soviele Gesichter doch jetzt hat er eins.”
Source: mutterseelenallein & splitterfasernackt | transgenerationale Trauma- und Trauergedichte
“Der Selbstmord ist ein Tod der nicht aufhört.”
Source: mutterseelenallein & splitterfasernackt | transgenerationale Trauma- und Trauergedichte
“Der Selbstmord ist ein Rückruf unvollendet.”
Source: mutterseelenallein & splitterfasernackt | transgenerationale Trauma- und Trauergedichte
“Doch dein Tod ist mein Stimmbruch.”
Source: mutterseelenallein & splitterfasernackt | transgenerationale Trauma- und Trauergedichte
“Bist gesprungen als die Sonne schien.”
Source: mutterseelenallein & splitterfasernackt | transgenerationale Trauma- und Trauergedichte
“Mein altes Gesicht gibt es nicht mehr.
Das Gesicht das ich jetzt habe ist das Gesicht nach deinem Tod.”
Source: mutterseelenallein & splitterfasernackt | transgenerationale Trauma- und Trauergedichte
“Du hast die Augen unserer Mutter hinterlassen.”
Source: mutterseelenallein & splitterfasernackt | transgenerationale Trauma- und Trauergedichte
“you loved without words
and you left without words”
Source: symbiosis : a sister's psychogeographical grief
“I'm wearing your clothes
as if they were you.”
Source: symbiosis : a sister's psychogeographical grief
“you knew that you were capable of dying
when all you really wanted was to live.”
Source: symbiosis : a sister's psychogeographical grief
“I lay wounded in the darkness after you.”
Source: symbiosis : a sister's psychogeographical grief
“I wish I could have been the weight
between you and the vastest amount of air.”
Source: symbiosis : a sister's psychogeographical grief
“how could this act of freeing yourself
feel so stuck in my body”
Source: symbiosis : a sister's psychogeographical grief