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Marshall B. Rosenberg

Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes

Psychologist

Marshall B. Rosenberg was a renowned psychologist known for his theory of Nonviolent Communication. His theory emphasizes the importance of listening and expressing needs to promote harmonious relationships. Rosenberg was born on October 6, 1934, and passed away on February 7, 2015.

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All Nonviolent Communication Communication Needs Empathy People Ifs Persons Thinking Feelings Way Giving Want Pain Judgment Use Mets Expression Violence Action May

Famous Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes

“If you are a czar or a king or a president or someone that wants to control those below them you do not want people to have a consciousness of life, of their needs. Because people do not make good slaves when they're connected to life... That's why in the public schools the primary objective is obedience to authority.”

People Ifs Want Needs School President Consciousness Kings Authority Slave Connected Objectives Primaries Obedience Public School Czars Obedience To Authority

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. And whenever people feel that they're not free to choose what they want to do, they are likely to resist, even if they see the purpose in what we are asking and would ordinarily want to do it.”

People Ifs Want Feels Purpose Asking Objectives Autonomy

Book:Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent Communication Way

Source: Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent Communication Way

“Also, think about your intentionality - are you getting lost in the method? or coming from the intentionality, the purpose? You don't want to do the mechanics without the consciousness.”

Thinking Want Purpose Lost Consciousness Communication Method Mechanic Nonviolent Communication Getting Lost Intentionality

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.”

Way Want Light Attention Consciousness Focus Communication Shining Train Seeking Yield Unlikely Conditioning Nonviolent Communication Leading Me

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“NVC is language, thoughts, communication skills and means of influence that serve my desire to do three things: 1) to liberate myself from cultural learning that is in conflict with how I want to live my life. 2) to empower myself to connect with myself and others in a way that makes compassionate giving natural. 3) to empower myself to create structures that support compassionate giving.”

“We never really know what we want until after we get it. If after we get it, it makes life more miserable, we know that isn't what we wanted. If it makes our life wonderful, we know this is a strategy which will meet out need. That's why Paul Tillich, the theologian says we need to sin courageously. You ask for what you want, hoping to meet your needs. If you get it and it makes life worse, you learn that this isn't what I want.”

Ifs Knows Want Needs Wanted Asks Sin Our Lives Wonderful Communication Strategy What You Want Miserable Theologian Want U Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“When you are in a jackal environment, never give them the power to submit or rebel. We want to teach this to children very early: Never lose track that you are always free to choose. Don't allow institutions to determine what you do.”

Want Giving Children Loses Teach Environment Communication Institutions Track Determine Rebel Submit Nonviolent Communication Jackals

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Two questions help us see why we are unlikely to get what we want by using punishment... The first question is: What do I want this person to do that's different from what he or she is currently doing? If we ask only this first question, punishment may seem effective because the threat or exercise of punitive force may well influence the person's behavior. However, with the second question, it becomes evident that punishment isn't likely to work: What do I want this person's reasons to be for doing what I'm asking?”

Ifs Want Firsts Wells May Persons Two Different Reason Helping Seems Asks Force Influence Exercise Behavior Asking Threat Punishment Evident Unlikely

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“To practice the process of conflict resolution, we must completely abandon the goal of getting people to do what we want.”

People Want Process Goal Practice Conflict Abandon Resolution Conflict Resolution

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.”

People Ifs Way Want Needs Wells Compassion Cost Guilt Meetings Better Ways

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“What I want in my life is compassion a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.”

Want Giving Heart Life Is Compassion Flow Mutual Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“The kind of spirituality I value is one in which you get great joy out of contributing to life, not just sitting and meditating, although meditation is certainly valuable. But from meditation, from the resulting consciousness, I would like to see people in action creating the world they want to live in.”

Source: Practical Spirituality: The Spiritual Basis of Nonviolent Communication

“The best way I can get understanding from another person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them to hear my needs and feelings, I first need to empathize.”

Ifs Way Want Needs Giving Firsts Persons I Can Feelings Understanding Empathy Best Way

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“When you ride the wave, the thrill is so exhilarating that you forget everything else. You live in the moment where nothing else matters, so intent on riding the wave perfectly that you and the wave become one. Pain and worry disappear, replaced by euphoria, akin to flow. Similarly, when giving empathy, you want to strive for this kind of total presence for the person you are listening to.”

“As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.”

Ifs Thinking Want Should Long Communication Nonviolent Communication

Book:Getting Past the Pain Between Us: Healing and Reconciliation Without Compromise

Source: Getting Past the Pain Between Us: Healing and Reconciliation Without Compromise

“In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.”

Want Needs Has Beens Culture Communication Nonviolent Communication Discounts

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.”

Ifs Want Needs Communication Tables Meetings Track Productive Request Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.”

Want Action Desire Communication Shame Guilt Obligation Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?”

Ifs Want Firsts Persons Two Reason Asks Communication Punishment Request Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.”

People Want Needs Important Self Use Energy Sound Clear Communication Criticism Defense Addresses Interpretation Self Defense Nonviolent Communication Evaluation

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“If we want to be compassionate we must be conscious of the words we use. We must both speak and listen from the heart.”

Ifs Want Heart Use Speak Conscious Compassionate

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg