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Marshall B. Rosenberg

Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes

Psychologist

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Famous Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes

“[My mother] related a childhood anecdote about one of her sisters who had an appendix operation and afterwards had been given a beautiful purse by another sister. My mother was fourteen at the time. Oh, how she yearned to have an exquisitely beaded purse like her sister's, but she dared not open her mouth. So guess what? She feigned a pain in her side and went the whole way with her story. Her family took her to several doctors. They were unable to produce a diagnosis and so opted for exploratory surgery. It had been a bold gamble on my mother's part, but it worked--she was given an identical little purse! When she received the coveted purse, my mother was elated despite being in physical agony from the surgery. Two nurses came in and one stuck a thermometer in her mouth. My mother said, 'Ummm, ummm,' to show the purse to the second nurse, who answered, 'Oh, for me? Why, thank you!' and took the purse! My mother was at a loss, and never figured out how to say, 'I didn't mean to give it to you. Please return it to me.' Her story poignantly reveals how painful it can be when people don't openly acknowledge their needs.”

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Book:Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
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“Imagine connecting with the human spirit in each person in any situation at any time. Imagine interacting with others in a way that allows everyone's need to be equally valued. Imagine creating organizations and life-serving systems responsive to our needs and the needs of our environment.”

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Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg
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“If you are a czar or a king or a president or someone that wants to control those below them you do not want people to have a consciousness of life, of their needs. Because people do not make good slaves when they're connected to life... That's why in the public schools the primary objective is obedience to authority.”

PeopleIfsWantNeedsSchoolPresidentConsciousnessKingsAuthoritySlaveConnectedObjectivesPrimariesObediencePublic SchoolCzarsObedience To Authority
Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg
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“Any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal expression of an unmet need. Tragic, first because it decreases our likelihood of getting our need met! Even if we think it. And secondly, because it increases the likelihood of violence. That's why I'm suggesting any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal expression of an unmet need. Say the need! Learn a need-consciousness.”

IfsThinkingNeedsFirstsConsciousnessViolenceExpressionCommunicationMetsIncreaseTragicSuicidalDecreaseNonviolent CommunicationSuggestingEvaluationLikelihoodUnmet Needs
Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg
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“If you have an image of someone cutting off a relationship, it's the cutting off that will lead to your suffering. If you see the action as their need being expressed, then the message is within them, not you. Any interpretation you put onto another person's message (such as passive-aggressive, withholding, etc.), you will pay for because of how you took it.”

IfsNeedsPersonsActionSufferingPayCuttingCommunicationMessagesEtcInterpretationAggressivePassiveNonviolent CommunicationWithholdingCutting OffPassive Aggressive
Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg
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“We never really know what we want until after we get it. If after we get it, it makes life more miserable, we know that isn't what we wanted. If it makes our life wonderful, we know this is a strategy which will meet out need. That's why Paul Tillich, the theologian says we need to sin courageously. You ask for what you want, hoping to meet your needs. If you get it and it makes life worse, you learn that this isn't what I want.”

IfsKnowsWantNeedsWantedAsksSinOur LivesWonderfulCommunicationStrategyWhat You WantMiserableTheologianWant UNonviolent Communication
Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg
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“Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading to these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.”

PeopleNeedsHumansFeelingsDesireDifficultGoalLosesViolenceIgnoranceConnectionsRevengeCheeksProvidingNonviolent CommunicationCooperativesImpetusTurn The Other CheekUnmet Needs
Book:Speak Peace in a World of Conflict: What You Say Next Will Change Your World
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“I recommend allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before turning our attention to solutions or requests for relief. When we proceed too quickly to what people might be requesting, we may not convey our genuine interest in their feelings and needs; instead, they may get the impression that we're in a hurry to either be free of them or to fix their problem. Furthermore, an initial message is often like the tip of an iceberg; it may be followed by yet unexpressed, but related - and often more powerful - feelings.”

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Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg
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