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Olga Trujillo Quotes

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Famous Olga Trujillo Quotes

“I understood these things intellectually, the way I understand that the world is round or that gravity is a universal force. But it took me a long time to truly grasp what Dr. Summer had told me many times before: "To survive a violent childhood, you created aspects of your consciousness that held information about the violence away from you. That's why you remember it as if it happened to someone else. You have many ways of being you.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderDissociationMultiplicityAlter PersonalitiesDissociative DisorderDissociative Parts
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“Some of the parts inside me were ready to come up and tell what had happened, but others didn't want me to know they even existed, I learned that when parts were in conflict with each other or didn't like what I was doing, I felt pain and panic, Dr. Summer encouraged me to pay attention to the parts and address the issues they raised, but to also challenge them and keep doing as many of my normal activities as I could.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderMultiple Personality DisorderAlter PersonalitiesDissociative Parts
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“I closed my hand into a fist and captured the details of the feeling for later, when I might need them. Storing thoughts in my fist was a way of creating parts of myself, brighter rooms in the house that was my mind, parts that could hold on to feelings of being loved.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderAlter PersonalitiesDissociative Parts
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“The diagnosis shouldn't have surprised me, as we had been talking about my symptoms for so long. But it's easier to think you just have a bunch of parts inside. Everyone says things like "A part of me wants to go to the movies, but another part of me wants to just stay home." Using the term "part" made me feel normal. I knew I was a little different in that my parts were quite separate aspects of me. I knew my consciousness wasn't whole and knew that it was unusual to have some thoughts come to me in Spanish. I knew most people didn't experience terror and struggle to catch their breath when they were in benign situations. But we hadn't been calling this DID, so I'd been able to avoid fully accepting the implications of having these special parts.”

Mental IllnessDissociative Identity DisorderAlter PersonalitiesDissociative PartsPersonality States
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“The first time I caught the ball before it touched the ground, Mike yelled, "Good job!" I held on to the feeling, capturing his words in my fist. In this way I created a part that could play basketball—a part that could focus on the ball to the exclusion of all other distractions. These types of "happy" and "good" parts countered desperate times and feelings and made it possible for me to succeed in school, receive praise and positive reactions from others, excel fearlessly in sports, and develop friendships.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderAlter PersonalitiesDissociative DisorderDissociative Parts
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“Over and over, I thought, I needed to separate into parts in my head. I needed to separate into parts in my head, but I couldn't make sense of this. They were just words that didn't come together into something meaningful. A thought came up, I chased it and was able to hold on to it long enough to ponder it: I could not know this or something bad would have happened.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderDissociationAlter PersonalitiesDissociative Parts
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“It seems like someone new is here?" I nodded. "Is it okay to talk to you?" I nodded again. "Are you the one who doesn't like the grocery store? "Yes," came the same soft voice. "What is it about the grocery store?" "It's not the store; it's the people. We get scared that some big person is going to hurt us. So we don't let her go places where there are lots of people." I felt dizziness in my head and then a different voice—a little stronger but still young—came out: "And then there's all that noise. We won't let her go in places with too much noise." "Is there someone new here?" "Yes." Is it okay if we talk together?" "Yes." "What's the problem with the noise?" "It was always noisy. A lot of yelling and crying. There was too much going on." "Is that the same kind of problem, the other part has?" "Yes. It's too hard for her to watch everyone to figure out who is going to hurt us next." "Don't you think Olga can take care of you?" "We want to think that, but we aren't sure." "Why is that?" "Because she couldn't take care of us before." "Do you all know what year it is?" "1968?" "Oh, I see. No, it's 1996, and Olga is big now. You all live inside her, and she has learned about you. She is also learning how to stop people from hurting you. She is strong and powerful. Were you there when she stopped the woman in the office from yelling at you?" It's 1996? She's big?" I paused to let the information sink in to all the parts that were listening. "She stopped people from yelling at us?" "Yes." Dr. Summer watched and waited. Home had been so chaotic. I had to watch Popi, Mike, Alex, and my mom very carefully. But I don't live there anymore. I'm grown up now.”

TherapyDissociative Identity DisorderPsychotherapyAlter PersonalitiesDissociative DisorderDissociative AmnesiaDissociative PartsTherapy Session
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“I did well at the Department of Justice. Some of my parts were hard workers. My well-developed memory helped me remember people: their names and positions and what they said during meetings. Rather than making me seem checked out, my dissociation made me seem calm and collected. In fact, the general dissociative state I was always in helped me function very well. I collected information, interacted on a personal and professional level, and was quite adept at managing most tasks in my life from this superficially numb and calm place. Most people, including me, didn't notice. This way of being and interacting was really all I knew. From that mild dissociation, I quickly went into a deeper dissociative state if there was conflict around me, if someone expressed strong emotions, or if something unpredictable happened. Although these difficult situations triggered me, they brought out behavior that helped me do well when the going got tough.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderDissociationStereotypesMultiple Personality DisorderMultiple PersonalitiesAlter PersonalitiesDissociative DisordersSurvival Mechanism
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“My mind instinctively developed new parts to specialize in skills I needed to make it through law school. They learned to focus on the important information: the outlines, the nutshells, and what each case meant.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderMultiple Personality DisorderMultiple PersonalitiesAlter PersonalitiesDissociative DisorderDissociative PartsDissociative Identities
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“I came to understand intellectually that my mind used dissociation as a way to protect me from knowing things. Dr. Summer repeatedly explained, "If you had woken up every morning and knew that later that day or evening you would be abused, you would have killed yourself". I would always nod, as if in agreement. It all made sense in a theoretical way, but I could not and did not want to truly understand or accept what had happened to me.”

Child AbuseDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationChild Sexual AbuseDissociative DisorderDissociative AmnesiaChild Abuse Survivor
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“I finally had the courage to start talking about how I developed dissociation as a coping mechanism as a child and carried that through my life, I talked about being trained to initiate and accommodate abuse and about how these coping mechanisms carried over for me as a teenager and young adult.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderDissociationChild Sexual AbuseDissociative DisorderCoping MechanismChild Abuse SurvivorCoping Strategies
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“I was shocked and terrified to hear Dr. Summer say I had what was formerly known as multiple personality disorder. Is that like Sybil? Am I like the woman in The Three Faces of Eve? My head began to spin. What do I have inside of me? Is there a crazy person in there? What am I? I felt like a freak. I was afraid to have anyone know. I have a mental illness. People make fun of people like me. Upon hearing my diagnosis, I stopped thinking of myself as smart, creative, or clever. Even though Dr. Summer had worked hard to help me understand that I had developed an amazingly adaptive survival technique, I no longer thought of it that way at all. I was overwhelmed by fear and shame. The words multiple personality disorder echoed in my mind. I thought of all the ways people with multiple personalities were ridiculed and marginalized: They're locked away in mental institutions. They are really sick. I'm not going to be the subject of people's jokes. I am a lawyer. I work at the U.S. Department of Justice. The more I thought about it, the deeper my despair grew.”

CrazyMental IllnessRidiculeDissociative Identity DisorderStereotypesMultiple Personality DisorderMental Illness StigmaMental HospitalSybilSelf Stigma
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“From that mild dissociation, I quickly went into a deeper dissociative state if there was conflict around me, if someone expressed strong emotions, or if something unpredictable happened. Although these difficult situations triggered me, they brought out behavior that helped me do well when the going got tough. I loved solving problems and getting into the thick of things and also had well-developed skills in reading people and anticipating their needs.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderDissociationDissociatedTriggeredDissociative StateMild Dissociation
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“Sometimes a stare comes from too much anxiety or stress. Your system can become overwhelmed." I didn't know it then. but parts inside were scared because he was looking at us so closely. He's getting too close. He's going to find out about us. I didn't make the effort to try to catch any of these thoughts.”

AnxietyDissociative Identity DisorderTranceDissociative DisorderChild Abuse SurvivorDissociative PartsTraumatic StressThousand Yard Stare
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“I still didn't know very much about the complex coping mechanism that had helped me survive my childhood. It was as if my conscious mind wasn't strong enough yet to fully grasp that I had parts. I knew it superficially, but I didn't feel it all the way through.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderFragmentedDissociative DisorderDissociative Parts
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“The creation of these "happy" parts felt different from the splitting that began at my fingertips when I was under attack. Entering these "good" parts felt less noticeable. There was some dizziness and light-headedness, but it was mainly just a gentle shifting in my mind. I was unsure of where my body started and ended for just a few seconds.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderDissociationDissociative DisorderDissociatedDissociative State
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“Some of my parts were hard workers. My well developed memory helped me remember people: their names and positions and what they said during meetings. Rather than making me seem checked out, my dissociation made me seem calm and collected. In fact, the general dissociative state I was always in helped me function very well. I collected information, interacted on a personal and professional level, and was quite adept at managing most tasks in my life from this superficially numb and calm place. Most people, including me, didn't notice. This way of being and interacting was really all I knew.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderNumbDissociationFunctioningMild Dissociation
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
Create image