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Primo Levi

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Chemist

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“It is a pretty structure, isn’t it? It makes you think of something solid, stable, well linked. In fact it happens in chemistry as in architecture that ‘beautiful’ edifices, that is symmetrical and simple, are also the most sturdy: in short, the same thing happens with molecules as with the cupolas of cathedrals of the arches of bridges. And it is also possible that the explanation is neither remote nor metaphysical: to say ‘beautiful’ is to say ‘desirable’, and ever since man has built he has wanted to build at the smallest expense and in the most durable fashion, and the aesthetic enjoyment he experiences when contemplating his work comes afterward. Certainly, it has not always been this way: there have been centuries in which ‘beauty’ was identified with adornment, the superimposed, the frills; but it is probable that they were deviant epochs and that the true beauty, in which every century recognises itself, is found in upright stones, ships’ hulls, the blade of an axe, the wing of a plane.”

“They are the typical product of the structure of the German Lager: if one offers a position of privilege to a few individuals in a state of slavery, exacting in exchange the betrayal of a natural solidarity with their comrades, there will certainly be someone who will accept. He will be withdrawn from the common law and will become untouchable; the more power that he is given, the more he will be consequently hateful and hated. When he is given the command of a group of unfortunates, with the right of life or death over them, he will be cruel and tyrannical, because he will understand that if he is not sufficiently so, someone else, judged more suitable, will take over his post. Moreover, his capacity for hatred, unfulfilled in the direction of the oppressors, will double back, beyond all reason, on the oppressed; and he will only be satisfied when he has unloaded onto his underlings the injury received from above.”

“Alongside the liberating relief of the veteran who tells us his story, I now felt in the writing a complex, intense, and new pleasure, similar to that I felt as a student when penetrating the solemn order of differentials calculus. It was exalting to search and find, or create, the right word, that is, commensurate, concise, and strong; to dredge up events from my memory and describe them with the greatest rigor and the least clutter.”

“More often and more insistently as that time recedes, we are asked by the young who our "torturers" were, of what cloth were they made. The term torturers alludes to our ex-guardians, the SS, and is in my opinion inappropriate: it brings to mind twisted individuals, ill-born, sadists, afflicted by an original flaw. Instead, they were made of the same cloth as we, they were average human beings, averagely intelligent, averagely wicked: save the exceptions, they were not monsters, they had our faces, but they had been reared badly. They were, for the greater part, diligent followers and functionaries, some frantically convinced of the Nazi doctrine, many indifferent, or fearful of punishment, or desirous of a good career, or too obedient. All of them had been subjected to the terrifying miseducation provided for and imposed by the schools created in accordance with the wishes of Hitler and his collaborators, and then completed by the SS "drill." Many had joined this militia because of the prestige it conferred, because of its omnipotence, or even just to escape family problems. Some, very few in truth, had changes of heart, requested transfers to the front lines, gave cautious help to prisoners or chose suicide. Let it be clear that to a greater or lesser degree all were responsible, but it must bee just as clear that behind their responsibility stands that the great majority of Germans who accepted in the beginning, out of mental laziness, myopic calculation, stupidity, and national pride the "beautiful words" of Corporal Hitler, followed him as long as luck and lack of scruples favored him, were swept away by his ruin, afflicted by deaths, misery, and remorse, and rehabilitated a few years later as the result of an unprincipled political game.”

“Se ne potevano trarre due conseguenze filosofiche tra loro contrastanti: l'elogio della purezza, che protegge dal male come un usbergo; l'elogio dell'impurezza, che dà adito ai mutamenti, cioè alla vita. Scartai la prima, disgustosamente moralistica, e mi attardai a considerare la seconda, che mi era più congeniale. Perché la ruota giri, perché la vita viva, ci vogliono le impurezze: anche nel terreno, come è noto, se ha da essere fertile. Ci vuole il diverso, il diverso, il grano di sale e di senape: il fascismo non li vuole, li vieta, e per questo tu non sei fascista; vuole tutti uguali e tu non sei uguale. Ma neppure la virtù immacolata esiste, o se esiste è detestabile”

“Si vedeva bene che portava la divisa con ribrezzo: la sua scelta nei miei riguardi non doveva essere stata dettata soltanto da considerazioni utilitarie. Parlava del fascismo e della guerra con reticenza, e con una gaiezza sinistra che non faticai ad interpretare. Era la gaiezza ironica di un'intera generazione d'italiani, abbastanza intelligenti ed onesti per rifiutare il fascismo, troppo scettici per opporvisi attivamente, troppo giovani per accettare passivamente la tragedia che si delineava e per disperare del domani; una generazione a cui io stesso avrei appartenuto, se non fossero intervenute le provide leggi razziali a maturarmi precocemente ed a guidarmi nella scelta.”

“Voi che vivete sicuri Nelle vostre tiepide case, Voi che trovate tornando a sera Il cibo caldo e visi amici: Considerate se questo è un uomo Che lavora nel fango Che non conosce pace Che lotta per mezzo pane Che muore per un sì o per un no. Considerate se questa è una donna, Senza capelli e senza nome Senza più forza di ricordare Vuoti gli occhi e freddo il grembo Come una rana d'inverno. Meditate che questo è stato: Vi comando queste parole. Scolpitele nel vostro cuore Stando in casa andando per via, Coricandovi alzandovi; Ripetetele ai vostri figli. O vi si sfaccia la casa, La malattia vi impedisca, I vostri nati torcano il viso da voi.”

“D’Agata non aveva tempo di sognare, perché era ossessionato dal terrore delle cimici. Queste incomode compagne non piacevano a nessuno, naturalmente; ma tutti avevamo finito col farci l’abitudine. Non erano poche e sparse, ma un esercito compatto, che col sopraggiungere della primavera aveva invaso tutti i nostri giacigli: stavano annidate di giorno nelle fenditure dei muri e delle cuccette di legno, e partivano in scorreria non appena cessava il tramestio del giorno. A cedere loro una piccola porzione del nostro sangue, ci saremmo rassegnati di buon grado: era meno facile abituarsi a sentirle correre furtive sul viso e sul corpo, sotto gli abiti. Potevano dormire tranquilli solo quelli che avevano la fortuna di godere di un sonno pesante, e che riuscivano a cadere nell’incoscienza prima che quelle altre si risvegliassero. D’Agata, che era un minuscolo, sobrio, riservato e pulitissimo muratore siciliano, si era ridotto a dormire di giorno, e passava le notti appollaiato sul letto, guardandosi intorno con occhi dilatati dall’orrore, dalla veglia e dall’attenzione spasmodica. Teneva stretto in mano un aggeggio rudimentale, che si era costruito con un bastoncello e un pezzo di rete metallica, e il muro accanto a lui era coperto di una lurida costellazione di macchie sanguigne. In principio queste sue abitudini erano state derise: aveva forse la pelle più fina di noi altri? Ma poi la pietà aveva prevalso commista con una traccia di invidia; perché, fra tutti noi, D’Agata era il solo il cui nemico fosse concreto, presente, tangibile, suscettibile di essere combattuto, percosso, schiacciato contro il muro.”

“Cedo ou tarde, na vida, cada um de nós se dá conta de que a felicidade completa é irrealizável; poucos, porém, atentam para a reflexão oposta: que também é irrealizável a infelicidade completa. Os motivos que se opõem à realização de ambos os estados-limite são da mesma natureza; eles vêm de nossa condição humana, que é contra qualquer “infinito”.”

“(...) justamente porque o Campo é uma grande engrenagem para nos transformar em animais, não devemos nos transformar em animais; até num lugar como este, pode-se sobreviver, para relatar a verdade, para dar nosso depoimento; e, para viver, é essencial esforçar-nos por salvar ao menos a estrutura, a forma da civilização. Sim, somos escravos, despojados de qualquer direito, expostos a qualquer injúria, destinados a uma morte quase certa, mas ainda nos resta uma opção. Devemos nos esforçar por defendê-la a todo custo, justamente porque é a última: a opção de recusar nosso consentimento. Portanto, devemos nos lavar, sim; ainda que sem sabão, com essa água suja e usando o casaco como toalha. Devemos engraxar os sapatos, não porque assim reza o regulamento, e sim por dignidade e alinho. Devemos marchar eretos, sem arrastar os pés, não em homenagem à disciplina prussiana, e sim para continuarmos vivos, para não começarmos a morrer.”

“In uno Stato autoritario viene considerato lecito alterare la verità, riscrivere retrospettivamente la Storia, distorcere le notizie, sopprimerne di vere, aggiungerne di false: all'informazione si sostituisce la propaganda. Infatti, in tale paese tu non sei un cittadino, detentore di diritti, bensí un suddito, e come tale sei debitore allo Stato (e al dittatore che lo impersona) di lealtà fanatica e di obbedienza supina.”

“[...] alla venerabile biblioteca dell'Istituo Chimico dell'Università di Torino, a quel tempo impenetrabile agli infedeli come la Mecca, difficilmente penetrabile anche ai fedeli qual ero io. È da pensare che la Direzione seguisse il savio principio secondo cui è bene scoraggiare le arti e le scienze: solo chi fosse stato spinto da un assoluto bisogno, o da una passione travolgente, si sarebbe sottoposto di buon animo alle prove di abnegazione che venivano richieste per consultare i volumi. L'orario era breve ed irrazionale; l'illuminazione scarsa; gli indici in disordine; d'inverno, nessun riscaldamento; non sedie, ma sgabelli metallici scomodi e rumorosi; e finalmente, il bibliotecario era un tanghero incompetente, insolente e di una bruttezza invereconda, messo sulla soglia per atterrire col suo aspetto e col suo latrato i pretendenti all'ingresso.”

“> "Pero Steinlauf me hace callar. Ha terminado de lavarse, ahora se está secando con la chaqueta de tela que antes tenía enroscada entre las piernas y que luego va a ponerse, y sin interrumpir la operación me da una lección en toda regla. He olvidado hoy, y lo siento, sus palabras directas y claras, las palabras del que fue el sargento Steinlauf del Ejército austro-húngaro, cruz de hierro en la guerra de 1914-1918. Lo siento porque tendré que traducir su italiano inseguro y su razonamiento sencillo de buen soldado a mi lenguaje de incrédulo. Pero éste era el sentido, que no he olvidado después ni olvidé entonces: que precisamente porque el es una gran máquina para convertirnos en animales, nosotros no debemos convertirnos en animales; que aun en este sitio se puede sobrevivir, y por ello se debe querer sobrevivir, para contarlo, para dar testimonio; y que para vivir es importante esforzarse por salvar al menos el esqueleto, la armazón, la forma de la civilización. Que somos esclavos, sin ningún derecho, expuestos a cualquier ataque, abocados a una muerte segura, pero que nos ha quedado una facultad y debemos defenderla con todo nuestro vigor porque es la última: la facultad de negar nuestro consentimiento. Debemos, por consiguiente, lavarnos la cara sin jabón, en el agua sucia, y secarnos con la chaqueta. Debemos dar betún a los zapatos no porque lo diga el reglamento sino por dignidad y por limpieza. Debemos andar derechos, sin arrastrar los zuecos, no ya en acatamiento de la disciplina prusiana sino para seguir vivos, para no empezar a morir. Estas cosas me dijo Steinlauf, hombre de buena voluntad: cosas extrañas para mi oído desacostumbrado, entendidas y aceptadas sólo en parte, y mitigadas por una doctrina más fácil, dúctil y blanda, la que hace siglos que se respira más acá de los Alpes y según la cual, entre otras cosas, no hay vanidad mayor que esforzarse en tragarse enteros los sistemas morales elaborados por los demás, bajo otros cielos. No, la prudencia y la virtud de Steinlauf, ciertam ente buenas para él, no me bastan. Frente a este complicado mundo inferior mis ideas es tán confusas: ¿será realmente necesario establecer un sistema y practicarlo? ¿No será más saludable tomar conciencia de no tener sistema?”

“That the nobility of Man, acquired in a hundred centuries of trial and error, lay in making himself the conquerer of matter, and that I had enrolled in chemistry because I wanted to maintain faithful to that nobility. That conquering matter is to understand it, and understanding matter is necessary to understanding the universe and ourselves: and that therefore Mendeleev’s Periodic Table, which just during those weeks we were laboriously learning to unravel, was poetry, loftier and more solemn than all the poetry we had swallowed doen in liceo; and come to think of it, it even rhymed! … [T]he chemistry and physics on which we fed, besides being in themselves nourishments vital in themselves, were the antidotes to Fascism … because they were clear and distinct and verifiable at every step, and not a tissue of lies and emptiness like the radio and newspapers.”

“Chemistry, for me, had stopped being such a source. It led to the heart of Matter, and Matter was our ally precisely because the Spirit, dear to Fascism, was our enemy; but, having reached the fourth year of Pure Chemistry, I could no longer ignore the fact that chemistry itself, or at least that which we were being administered, did not answer my questions. To prepare phenyl bromide according to Gatterman was amusing, even exhilarating, but not very different from following Artusi's recipes. Why in that particular way and not in another? After having been force fed in liceo the truths revealed by Fascist Doctrine, all revealed, unproven truths either bored me stiff or aroused my suspicion. Did chemistry theorems exist? No; therefore you had to go further, not be satisfied with the quia go back to the origins, to mathematics and physics. The origins of chemistry were ignoble, or at least equivocal: the dens of the alchemists, their abominable hodgepodge of ideas and language, their confessed interest in gold, their Levantine swindles typical of charlatans or magicians; instead, at the origin of physics lay the strenuous clarity of the West – Archimedes and Euclid.”

“The conviction that life has a purpose is rooted in every fibre of man, it is a property of the human substance. Free men give many names to this purpose, and think and talk a lot about its nature. But for us the question is simpler. Today, in this place, our only purpose is to reach the spring. At the moment we care about nothing else. Behind this aim there is not at the moment any other aim. In the morning while we wait endlessly lined up in roll-call square for the time to leave for work, while every breath of wind penetrates our clothes and runs in violent shivers over our defenceless bodies, and everything is grey around us, and we are grey; in the morning, when it is still dark, we all look at the sky in the east to spot the first signs of a milder season, and the rising of the sun is commented on every day: today a little earlier than yesterday, today a little warmer than yesterday, in two months, in a month, the cold will call a truce and we will have one enemy less. Today the sun rose bright and clear for the first time from the horizon of mud. It is a Polish sun, cold, white, distant, and only warms the skin, but when it dissolved the last mists a murmur ran through our colourless numbers, and when even I felt its lukewarmth through my clothes I understood how men can worship the sun.”

“I beg the reader not to go in search of messages. It is a term that I detest because it distresses me greatly, for it forces on me clothes that are not mine, which in fact belong to a human type that I distrust; the prophet, the soothsayer, the seer. I am none of these; I'm a normal man with a good memory who fell into a maelstrom and got out of it more by luck than by virtue, and who from that time on has preserved a certain curiosity about maelstroms large and small, metaphorical and actual.”

“The trade of chemist (fortified, in my case, by the experience of Auschwitz), teaches you to overcome, indeed to ignore, certain revulsions that are neither necessary or congenital: matter is matter, neither noble nor vile, infinitely transformable, and its proximate origin is of no importance whatsoever. Nitrogen is nitrogen, it passes miraculously from the air into plants, from these into animals, and from animals into us; when its function in our body is exhausted, we eliminate it, but it still remains nitrogen, aseptic, innocent.”

“But many, many stories were told; from what could be gathered, all fifty of the mine's inhabitants had reacted on each other, two by two, as in combinatorial analysis, that is to say, everyone with all the others, and especially every man with all the women, old maids or married, and every woman with all the men. All I had to do was to select two names at random, better if different sex, and ask a third person, "What happened with those two?" and lo and behold, a splendid story was unfolded for me, since everyone knew the story of everyone else.”

“Did chemistry theorems exist? No: therefore you had to go further, not be satisfied with the quia, go back to the origins, to mathematics and physics. The origins of chemistry were ignoble, or at least equivocal: the dens of the alchemists, their abominable hodgepodge of ideas and language, their confessed interest in gold, their Levantine swindles typical of charlatans and magicians; instead, at the origin of physics lay the strenuous clarity of the West-Archimedes and Euclid.”

“A scientist's life, the author says, is indeed conflictual, formed by battles, defeats, and victories: but the adversary is always and only the unknown, the problem to be solved, the mystery to be clarified. It is never a matter of civil war; even though of different opinions, or of different political leanings, scientists dispute each other, they compete, but they do not battle: they are bound together by a strong alliance, by the common faith "in the validity of Maxwell's or Boltzmann's equations," and by the common acceptance of Darwinism and the molecular structure of DNA.”

“In order for the wheel to turn, for life to be lived, impurities are needed, and the impurities of impurities in the soil, too, as is known, if it is to be fertile. Dissension, diversity, the grain of salt and mustard are needed: Fascism does not want them, forbids them, and that's why you're not a Fascist; it wants everybody to be the same, and you are not. But immaculate virtue does not exist either, or if it exists it is detestable.”

“He was a physicist, more precisely an astrophysicist, diligent and eager but without illusions: the Truth lay beyond, inaccessible to our telescopes, accessible to the initiates. This was a long road which he was traveling with effort, wonderment, and profound joy. Physics was prose: elegant gymnastics for the mind, mirror of Creation, the key to man's dominion over the planet; but what is the stature of Creation, of man and the planet? His road was long and he had barely started up it, but I was his disciple: did I want to follow him?”

“This cell belongs to a brain, and it is my brain, the brain of me who is writing; and the cell in question, and within it the atom in question, is in charge of my writing, in a gigantic minuscule game which nobody has yet described. It is that which at this instant, issuing out of a labyrinthine tangle of yeses and nos, makes my hand run along a certain path on the paper, mark it with these volutes that are signs: a double snap, up and down, between two levels of energy, guides this hand of mine to impress on the paper this dot, here, this one.”