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Rick Riordan

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Famous Rick Riordan Quotes

“You do understand that I must find a way to return to Olympus,” I said. “This will probably involve many harrowing trials with a high chance of death. Can you turn down such glory?” “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can. Sorry.” I pursed my lips. It always disappointed me when mortals put themselves first and failed to see the big picture—the importance of putting me first—but I had to remind myself that this young man had helped me out on many previous occasions”

HumorImportanceFavorsPercy JacksonApollo
Book:The Hidden Oracle
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“Headache!" Zeus bellowed. "Bad. bad headache!" As if to prove his point, the lord of the universe slammed his face into his pancakes, which demolished the pancakes and the plate and put a crack in the table, but did nothing for his headache. "Aspirin?" Apollo suggested. (he was the god of healing) "Nice cup og tea?" Hestia suggested "I could split your skull open," offered Hephaestus, the blacksmith god "Hephaestus!" Hera cried. "Don't talk to your father that way!" "What?" Hephaestus demanded "Clearly he's got a problem in there. I could open up the hood and take a look. Might relieve the pressure. Besides, he's immortal. It won't kill him”

HumorPercy JacksonApolloZeusAthenaHeraHephaestusHestia
Book:Percy Jackson's Greek Gods
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“Anybody have any money?” Frank checked his pockets. “Three denarii from Camp Jupiter. Five dollars Canadian.” Hedge patted his gym shorts and pulled out what he found. “Three quarters, two dimes, a rubber band and—score! A piece of celery.” He started munching on the celery, eyeing the change and the rubber band like they might be next.”

HumorMoneyFoodPercy JacksonPercy Jackson And The OlympiansFrank ZhangThe Heroes Of OlympusCoach HedgeThe Mark Of Athena
Book:The Mark of Athena
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“If I had still been an immortal, I might have flirted with her myself. But I was now a sixteen-year-old boy. My mortal form was working its way upon my state of mind. I saw Sally Jackson as a mom—a fact that both consternated and embarrassed me. I thought about how long it had been since I had called my own mother. I should probably take her to lunch when I got back to Olympus.”

HumorMothersApolloSally Jackson
Book:The Hidden Oracle
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“Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. "I have to go." "You just got here." "Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress." "You're making that up." "I'm not." "So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?”

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Book:The Hammer of Thor
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“To call the place an anthill would be like calling the Versailles Palace a single-family home. Earthen ramparts rose almost to the tops of the surrounding trees--a hundred feet at least. The circumference could have accommodated a Roman hippodrome. A steady stream of soldiers and drones swarmed in and out of the mound. Some carried fallen trees. One, inexplicably, was dragging a 1967 Chevy Impala.”

HumorSupernaturalRick RiordanFandomTrials Of ApolloThe Hidden Oracle1967 Chevy ImpalaMermekes
Book:The Hidden Oracle
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“Deep breath. This was for Meg. This was for Jason. This was for everyone who had fought and sacrificed to drag my sorry mortal butt from quest to quest for the last six months, just to get me this chance at redemption. I kicked forward, spilling head first out of the crack in the ceiling. I flipped in mid-air, aimed … and fired my arrow at Python’s head. ... I missed. Don’t even pretend you’re surprised.”

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Book:The Tower of Nero
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“She raised her cup and poured acid over her face. Then she turned and marched face-first into the nearest wall. The snake reared up and slammed its head repeatedly into the floor. "Okay," Jason said. "I think we have achieved idiot mode." "Hello! Die!" Hygeia backed away from the wall and face-slammed it again. (...) Another gust of wind levitated him upward. Leo went to work with his pliers, reprogramming the signs until the top one flashed: THE DOCTOR IS: IN DA HOUSE. The bottom sign changed to read: NOW SERVING: ALL DA LADIES LUV LEO!”

HumorLeo ValdezJason GraceHeroes Of OlympusThe Blood Of OlympusHoo
Book:The Blood of Olympus
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“Well,” I said, “you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city’s sewer system. Perhaps you’re related…?” Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn’t imagine what.”

HumorStupidityApolloMeg Mccaffrey
Book:The Hidden Oracle
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“GIVE ME TIME TO CONSIDER, O IMPATIENT LESTER. "But I don't have time! We're leaving for Tarquin's tomb like,"—I glanced to the west, where the sun was beginning to sink behind the hills—"basically now!" THE JOURNEY INTO THE TOMB WILL NOT BE THY FINAL CHALLENGE. UNLESS THOU SUCKETH MOST WOEFULLY. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" FIGHT NOT THE KING, said the arrow. HEAREST THOU WHAT THOU NEEDEST, AND SKEDADDLETH. "Did you just use the term skedaddleth?" I TRY TO SPEAK PLAINLY TO THEE, TO GRANT THEE A BOON, AND STILL THOU COMPLAINEST.”

HumorApolloLester PapadopoulosArrow Of Dodona
Book:The Tyrant’s Tomb
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“Oh, I’m sorry!” he said. “I just fell out of the sky. I constructed a helicopter in midair, burst into flames halfway down, crash-landed and barely survived. But by all means – let’s talk about your dining table!” He snatched up a half-melted goblet. “Who puts a dining table on the beach where innocent demigods can crash into it? Who does that?” The girl clenched her fists. Leo was pretty sure she was going to march down the crater and punch him in the face. Instead she looked up at the sky. “REALLY?” she screamed at the empty blue. “You want to make my curse even worse? Zeus! Hephaestus! Hermes! Have you no shame?” “Uh …” Leo noticed that she’d just picked three gods to blame, and one of them was his dad. He figured that wasn’t a good sign. “I doubt they’re listening. You know, the whole split-personality thing—” “Show yourself!” the girl yelled at the sky, completely ignoring Leo. “It’s not bad enough I am exiled? It’s not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I’m allowed to meet? You think it’s funny to send me this—this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquillity? This is NOT FUNNY! Take him back!” “Hey, Sunshine,” Leo said. “I’m right here, you know.” She growled like a cornered animal. “Do not call me Sunshine! Get out of that hole and come with me now so I can get you off my island!” “Well, since you asked so nicely …” Leo didn’t know what the crazy girl was so worked up about, but he didn’t really care. If she could help him leave this island, that was totally fine by him. He clutched his charred sphere and climbed out of the crater. When he reached the top, the girl was already marching down the shoreline. He jogged to catch up. She gestured in disgust at the burning wreckage. “This was a pristine beach! Look at it now.” “Yeah, my bad,” Leo muttered. “I should’ve crashed on one of the other islands. Oh, wait – there aren’t any!” She snarled and kept walking along the edge of the water.”

HumorLeo ValdezHeroes Of OlympusCalypsoHooCaleoOgygia
Book:The House of Hades
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“Sadie was still a kite. "You can turn back now," I told her. She tilted her head and regarded me quizically. She let out a frustrated croak. I cracked a smile. "You can't, can you? You're stuck? She pecked my hand with her extremely sharp beak. "Ow!" I complained. "It's not my fault. Keep trying." She closed her eyes and ruffled her feathers until she looked like she was going to explode, but she stayed a kite. "Don't worry," I said, trying to keep a straight face. "Bast will help once we get out of here.”

HumorBirdCarterSadieKiteSadie KaneCarter KaneThe Kane ChroniclesThe Red Pyramid
Book:The Red Pyramid
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“As soon as he was in range, I struck. I put all my wrath into that punch. It should have been enough to vaporize Mikey and leave a thug-shaped impression on the asphalt. Instead he ducked, which I found quite annoying. I stumbled forward. I have to say that when Prometheus fashioned you humans out of clay he did a shoddy job. Mortal legs are clumsy. I tried to compensate, drawing upon my boundless reserves of agility, but Mikey kicked me in the back. I fell on my divine face.”

HumorBullyingApolloPunching
Book:The Hidden Oracle
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