Quotessence
Home / Authors / Robert Benchley
Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Quotes

Humorist

Filter quotes by topic

AllMenComedyFunnyIfsPeopleHumorWayThinkingChildrenMayTwoKnowsWritingBoysFirstsLittlesSeemsWellsClassDog

Famous Robert Benchley Quotes

“The way to go to the circus, however, is with someone who has seen perhaps one theatrical performance before in his life and that in the High School hall... The scales of sophistication are struck from your eyes and you see in the circus a gathering of men and women who are able to do things as a matter of course which you couldn't do if your life depended on it.”

IfsMenWayMatterEyeAbleSchoolCoursesHigh SchoolMen And WomenPerformancesScalesHallsGatheringCircusTheatricalSophistication
Author:Robert Benchley
Create image

“I can't quite define my aversion to asking questions of strangers. From snatches of family battles which I have heard drifting up from railway stations and street corners, I gather that there are a great many men who share my dislike for it, as well as an equal number of women who ... believe it to be the solution to most of this world's problems.”

MenWorldBelieveWellsI CanProblemNumbersHeardShareStreetsThis WorldBattleEqualSolutionsAskingCornersStrangerGreat MenStationsDislikeDriftingAsking QuestionsAversionRailwayStreet CornersRailway Station
Book:The Benchley Roundup
Create image

“My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who can frankly say "I do not play bridge" is allowed to go over in the corner and run the pianola by himself, while the poor neophyte, no matter how much he may protest that he isn't "at all a good player, in fact I'm perfectly rotten," is never believed, but dragged into a game where it is discovered, too late, that he spoke the truth.”

MenFirstsMayMadeMatterPlayMomentsFactsBigsRunningGamesPoorMistakePlayerLateWeaknessCornersCardsBridgesToo LateProtestSpokesRottenBig MistakeMistakes Were MadeMoments Of Weakness
Book:Of All Things
Create image

“A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever tune the orchestra is playing, and a general sense of giddiness when the matter of rent is brought up. Forty is Life's Golden Age.”

MenMatterAgeTodayFallVisionWorryFailingHairBreathsTendenciesGoldenBreathingBirthdayTunesFortyButtonsInabilityOrchestraTremblingCollarsGolden AgeKidneysShortness
Author:Robert Benchley
Create image

“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn’t make any sense if quoted as it stands. The average man ought to be allowed a quotation of no less than three sentences, one to make his statement and two to explain what he meant. Ralph Waldo Emerson was about the only one who could stand having his utterances broken up into sentence quotations, and every once in a while even he doesn’t sound so sensible in short snatches.”

IfsMenWayTwoThreeSoundBrokenOughtAverageSentencesStatementsSensibleQuotationsMonkeysRemarksUtteranceAverage ManBroken UpWaldo EmersonRalph Waldo
Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew
Create image