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Robert Benchley Quotes

Humorist

Robert Benchley was an American humorist, writer, and actor, known for his witty humor style and unique satirical techniques. His career spanned theater, film, and radio, and he achieved significant success in the early 20th century.

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All Men Comedy Funny Ifs People Humor Way Thinking Children May Two Knows Writing Boys Firsts Littles Seems Wells Class Dog

Famous Robert Benchley Quotes

“If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.”

Ifs Writing Would Be Today Comedy Alive Studios Live For Today Mack Writing Comedy

Book:Benchley beside himself

Source: Benchley beside himself

“Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?”

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.”

Moments Humor Funny Can Do Work Comedy Amount That Moment Procrastination Procrastinating Stop Procrastination Funny Work Funny Procrastination

Author:Robert Benchley

“Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.”

Men Feelings Death Bits Steps Comedy Suicide Step Up

Book:The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

Source: The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

“I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.”

Knows Comedy Drinking Beer Beer Drinking College Drinking

Author:Robert Benchley

“After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him each year.”

Years Has Beens Book Difficult Comedy Publishers New Books

Author:Robert Benchley

“Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.”

Trying Ends Left Comedy Happenings Skins Ears Track China Keep Going Never Quit Twirling

Author:Robert Benchley

“I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.”

Has Beens Left Behinds Comedy Authority Patient Copies Hospitals Hospitality Left Behind Departing

Author:Robert Benchley

“If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.”

Ifs Law Universe Natural Comedy Natural Law Let Him Go

Author:Robert Benchley

“We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.”

People Wells Born Comedy

Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

Source: My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

“An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.”

Should Matter Happens Games Comedy Team No Matter What Prepared Preparation Teamwork Offense Supporter Hometown Ardent

Book:The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

Source: The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

“The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.”

Writing Comedy Obstacles Typewriters Ribbons Biggest Obstacles Professional Writing

Author:Robert Benchley

“There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.”

Firsts May Made Reading Given Difficult Comedy Fronts Ought Notes Volume Permission

Book:Love Conquers All

Source: Love Conquers All

“Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.”

Knows Facts Humor Funny Fall Party Talking Comedy Argument Opponents Falling Apart Impressive Owing

Author:Robert Benchley

“Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off.”

Thinking Men May Littles I Can Seems White Comedy Written Summer Suits Bother

Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

Source: My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

“We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.”

Men Nations Comedy Doors Majors Hotel Uniforms Hospitality Cab Drum Major

Book:Benchley Lost and Found: 39 Prodigal Pieces

Source: Benchley Lost and Found: 39 Prodigal Pieces

“A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.”

Trying Real Comedy Cures Remedy Hangover

Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

Source: My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

“Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.”

Ifs Writing Soul Happens Literature Comedy Spring Adapted Handy Upheaval Great Literature

Author:Robert Benchley

About the Author

Born: September 15, 1889
Died: November 21, 1945
Known for: Humorist
Quotes: 146

Books & Sources

My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They GrewRelated source material

The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club NewsRelated source material

Chips Off the Old BenchleyRelated source material

Benchley Lost and Found: 39 Prodigal PiecesRelated source material

Benchley beside himselfRelated source material

One Minute, PleaseRelated source material

Love Conquers AllRelated source material

No PoemsRelated source material

Of All ThingsRelated source material

The Benchley RoundupRelated source material

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