Tina Fey Quotes

Actress

Tina Fey, born on May 18, 1970, is an accomplished American actress, writer, and comedian. She gained fame for her work on 'Saturday Night Live' and has since starred in numerous films. Fey is recognized for her humorous and witty performance style.

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Famous Tina Fey Quotes

“Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She'll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week's episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10. I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.”

“I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It's better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.”

Want Comedy Materials Baby Basketball News Boring Champion Bees Spelling Horrific

Author:Tina Fey

“"I can't believe you recently had a baby. How do you do it?" The baby starts to come down...and once that happens you can't-it comes out. Whether you let it or not, the baby comes out. So that's how I did it.”

Believe I Can Humor Happens Funny Baby Down And

Author:Tina Fey

“Lesson learned? When people say, "You really, really must" do something, it means you don't really have to. No one ever says, "You really, really must deliver the baby during labor." When it's true, it doesn't need to be said.”

People Needs Mean Said Baby Lessons Labor Witty Bossy Lesson Learned Bossypants

Book:Bossypants

Source: Bossypants

“No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free.”

Giving Stuff Baby Formulas

Book:Bossypants

Source: Bossypants

“Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.”

Kind Funny Girl Realizing Behinds Worst Baby Behavior Adults Female Thirds Leaving Feminist Witty Sabotage This Girl Bossypants Dumpsters

Book:Bossypants

Source: Bossypants

“...I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's business and I'll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.”

I Can Moments Cases Regret Baby Ruins Take Time Time Off Never Regret

Author:Tina Fey

“Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.”

Littles Humor Baby Creatures Blame Fart Adorable Having A Baby Having Kids

Book:Bossypants

Source: Bossypants

“There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most people who have had one baby, I am an expert on everythiing and will tell you, unsolicited, how to raise your kid!”

People Littles Kids House Baby Creatures Raises Blame Drunk Experts Fart Adorable Midget

Author:Tina Fey

“Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love or Pride and Prejudice or my personal favorite,Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea; A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my "plan" was for taking down the Christmas tree.”

“I had to get back to work... NBC has me under contract; the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.”

Humor Funny Baby Mom Agreement Get Back Contracts Back To Work Nbc Maternity

Author:Tina Fey

“Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless.”

Knows Sleep Walks Baby Classic Parenthood Scream Sleeping Baby

Author:Tina Fey

“A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.”

Way Stills School Teach Study Baby Determined Medical Best Way Boss Plus Temperature Harvard Medical School Thermometers Medical Education

Author:Tina Fey

About the Author

Born: May 18, 1970
Known for: Actress
Quotes: 354

Books & Sources

BossypantsRelated source material

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