“Every morning, when Alaskans wake up, one of the first things they do, is look outside to see if there are any Russians hanging around. And if there are, you gotta go up to them and ask, 'What are you doing here?' and if they can't give you a good reason, it's our responsibility to say, you know, 'Shoo! Get back over there!'” IfsKnowsGivingFirstsLooksReasonAsksResponsibilityMorningWake UpGet BackEvery MorningHanging AroundAlaskans Author:Tina Fey
“I don't know how many more movies I'm going to get the opportunity to make and I don't want to look back and go: "Man, I just floated through that one." Or: "I did that one for the money." I want to be able to say that I worked as a hard as I could and I did the best work that I could do.” KnowsMenWantLooksHardAbleOpportunityKnow HowBest Work Author:Tina Fey
“It's not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what your trying to do. If you look as good as you can, people will be able to pay attention to what your actually saying.” PeopleIfsTryingLooksAblePayAttentionVanityPay Attention Author:Tina Fey
“You mostly know that you want to be funny, know that you have the desire. It's not like people who grow up beautiful and can look in the mirror and be like, I'm beautiful! Funny is more of a journey. And a desperate attempt.” PeopleKnowsWantLooksBeautifulDesireGrowsGrowing UpJourneyMirrorsDesperate Author:Tina Fey
“Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children's medications are selling on Home Shopping Network.” KnowsWellsLooksMeanChildrenHomeHumorFunnyLinesInspiredRingsSellingShoppingKnow MeToesMedicationZodiac Book:Bossypants Source: Bossypants
“The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.” KnowsLooksPersonsMadeStruggleAchieveScientistAthleteClosestKimSabotageBossypantsCaucasian Book:Bossypants Source: Bossypants
“That turned-up collar. The jacket that zipped all the way down the front into a nice fitted shape. The white denim that made my untanned skin look like a color.” WayLooksMadeWhiteNiceFrontsColorShapesSkinsJacketsCollarsDenim Author:Tina Fey
“Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.” WellsLooksDoneCrazyWittyMakeupPhotoshopBossypants Author:Tina Fey
“It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific.” BelieveLooksLittlesKidsLittle KidTerrificUnderpants Author:Tina Fey
“You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.” HumansLooksSometimesHardRememberActorsHuman BeingsWittyBossypants Book:Bossypants Source: Bossypants
“You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.” LooksDreamTodayNaturalEnemyFeetIllusionMirrorsWittyLegsFlatsDaylight Book:Bossypants Source: Bossypants
“If a bout of "creepy face" sets in, the trick is to look away from the camera between shots and turn back only when necessary. This also limits how much of your soul the camera can steal.” IfsLooksSoulFacesTurnsLimitsShotsCamerasTricksStealingYour SoulCreepy Book:Bossypants Source: Bossypants
“One afternoon a girl walked by in a bikini and my cousin Janet scoffed, “Look at the hips on her.” I panicked. What about the hips? Were they too big? Too small? What were my hips? I didn’t know hips could be a problem. I thought there was just fat or skinny. This was how I found out that there are an infinite number of things that can be “incorrect” on a woman’s body.” KnowsLooksProblemBodyBigsGirlFoundNumbersInfiniteFatsHipsAfternoonCousinSkinnyMy CousinBikinisWomen's Bodies Author:Tina Fey
“Feminists do the best Photoshop because they leave the meat on your bones. They don’t change your size or your skin color. They leave in your disgusting knuckles, but they may take out some armpit stubble. Not because they’re denying its existence, but because they understand that it’s okay to make a photo look as if you were caught on your best day in the best light.” IfsLooksMayLightExistenceColorOkaySkinsSizeCaughtFeministBonesMeatDisgustingDo The BestDon't ChangeSkin ColorKnucklesPhotoshopArmpits Author:Tina Fey
“I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.” WantLooksFunnyParentAbilityHave Confidence Author:Tina Fey
“‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say. My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.” PeopleLooksSometimesDreamHandsEyeJobsMotherAsksParentAnswersStruggleStandardsRedFortuneAsk MeApplesWitchGood FortuneFly AwayJuicyDream JobCauldronsWorking Parents Author:Tina Fey
“Many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.” WorldLooksMeanHas BeensDiscoveryAccidentsCupsPeanutsPeanut ButterBotox Book:Bossypants Source: Bossypants
“Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.” KnowsYearsLooksPersonsLongMadeEyeGirlBoysFeetAchieveArmsSkinsScientistBlueLipsAthleteLegsExpectedNineAssHipsNosesCaliforniaClassicOwnersSarcasticHallsGymClosestButtonsBody ImageAsianDollsBlue EyesNine YearsKimSabotageSwedishEvery GirlFunny SarcasticJamaicansBossypantsCaucasianFunny GirlBeautiful LipsAbdominals Author:Tina Fey
“Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and make up. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as "human woman".” HumansLooksTwoTodayThreeHoursRolesIncludingComparison Author:Tina Fey
